We're Always Better Together

The "Better Together Celebration" of the YMCA of Greater Charlotte is fast approaching.  I am so excited!  It will be an evening where the Y's greatest volunteers are celebrated and cherished, where reflection of the past year's big and little successes are honored.  All of them, even the tiniest accomplishment in the name of Christ matters.  It is an evening where you leave with your heart so full you'll think it will burst.  Last year I had tears, smiles and laughter all at the same time.
     
   March of 2013 was my first time being invited to the event.  I had no idea what to expect.  I was excited to go and was able to sit with Mike and our dear friends who are heavily involved with one of the YMCA branches.  I met new people and was hugged by more than one who had been working with us on Dad's Scholarship Program in Aquatics.  Even in a sea of people I felt like there was this joy there that flowed out of the people who were there.

 I loved the YMCA stories I heard that night.  One told of the special needs sports teams created at certain Y branches and what the volunteers and kids had accomplished that year.  Then the aquatics story: a gentleman who decided in his mid 80's that it was never too late to try to improve his health and learned how to swim at his community Y, his daughter cheering him on each week.  Eventually, "Mayor Bill" was swimming a mile a day with a snorkel and hand paddles at his community YMCA.
      
See his Y Story here on you tube.  Bill Heller's Y STORY- "Believe in Health and Well Being"  It is a great testimony!

 There were so many stories and so many people honored for special reasons.  The outreach to the community was just incredible and I had fresh eyes to see exactly what the YMCA of Greater Charlotte does in the name of Christ.  It was like I had stepped into this world through my father, which I had not fully understood before or seen with my own eyes.  Obviously my dad believed in what the YMCA stood for.  He wouldn't have made it a part of his life for 4 decades otherwise.   

YMCA Mission:  "To put Christian principles into practice through programs that build healthy spirit, mind and body for all."  

Through this celebration and other experiences at the Y over those prior 3 months, I saw over and over again that my city's YMCA was living the mission statement and it was their focus.  I would have never seen things on the inside if it had not been for my dad.  I was so honored to be a part of this celebration.  I felt like I was saving a seat for him when I sat in the theater.  I was sitting next to Mike, but I declare my dad was taking a seat in my heart all night.  He would have deeply appreciated this celebration and knowing him he would have been in his "element" of being around other people.  He loved people.  

      I left the theater with a warmth and  joy in my heart that did not go away.  It was there to stay.  The YMCA of Greater Charlotte had made a deeper impact on me in that 90 minutes.  It solidified even more my positive experiences with the Y.  

"Gosh Daddy, I just wish you could be here!!"   

It is quite bittersweet this year as I receive the invitation in the mail.   I'm so excited and want March 17 to be tomorrow.  The timing of the celebration is what makes it a happy and hard moment at the same time.  

The day after the 2013 celebration my dad had a mini stroke and we put him on Hospice Care.  It was a scary day in so many ways.  Alzheimer's Disease was becoming so advanced for him and exactly one week from the Better Together Celebration my hero stepped off the cliff of the most advanced stage of Alzheimer's disease into the arms of his Heavenly Father.  "That's enough Joe…. it's time to come home."  When my daddy could no longer smile, laugh or be that bright shining light for all to see,  I think his mission in life was fulfilled on earth.  

This year I won't have the same perspective as I sit next to Mike in Knight's Theatre.  I know Dad is smiling again.  He isn't suffering anymore with the cruelty of a disease that stole his life.

I'll still be saving a seat for him on March 17th.  He'll be sitting with me in my heart. I'll be reminded of his love for me, his love of his family, his love of his God and for a community where he lived all of his life.  

The YMCA was a cherished place for him and as his scholarship program in aquatics takes off for children to receive free swim lessons in our city,  my brother and I are there to see it through and be the cheerleaders.  

You can do it!         I believe in you!       Way to go!     That's good!    Come on!  Come on!  Kick!  Kick!     That's it! Keep going!    Come on now, you can do it!    Move those arms!
Breathe!  Breathe!    Keep coming!  Keep coming!     Do you see where you are?  You made it to the 9 ft end!     Fantastic!   You did it!   ~ Joe

"Better together"….. Dad would agree with that.  We are meant to be in community.  We are to love our neighbor as ourselves, care about our communities and champion those who need a cheerleader and encourager in their corner.  It's up to us.  It's our choice.  To serve or not to serve.  I'm so glad my Dad loved to serve other people. He was such a great example of the person I always hoped I grow up to be!!

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.  But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."   Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"You shall love the LORD your God with all of your heart, and with all of your soul, with all of your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself."  ~ Jesus
Luke 10:27

The Aquatics Scholarship Fund

The Joe Poston Scholarship Fund

Dad and his grandson, our Joseph learning to swim- age 3

The dream of a honoring my dad comes true today.....

It kind of sat back in the closet of my mind for a long time, probably a couple of years since he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.   I wanted to honor him in some way, but didn't know how or what exactly that would look like.  Last year TO THE DAY (June 27th) I finally asked my daddy how he felt about a scholarship program to help kids and families learn to swim who could not afford swim lessons.  

His response?  "Hey, I like that.  I'd like to be a part of that.  I'd like to write a check, but I don't have my check book."  

I looked at him and told him as I had many times in the past, "Dad I have your checkbook. I'm helping you keep track of your finances and bills."  

His eyes got really big and wide with a smile, "YOU do??" and there was that joking personality of the daddy I'd always known, tainted by Alzheimer's disease, but still very much there.  He was having a "good day" on June 27th, 2012.  He was happy, so happy, and smiling.  He had more clarity of mind that day than in days past.

That clarity of mind was such a gift that day.  It was enough of a blessing to me to know that if my daddy had not had Alzheimer's we could have continued our discussion about this subject and dreamed together.

I would have much preferred it this way of course!  

We were sitting in my mom's room this particular afternoon, when I asked him about the Aquatics scholarship program.  Mom was so sick and it was an incredibly sad week for us as a family.  The moment my daddy walked into Mom's room that day, the gloom and sadness disappeared in those moments with his liveliness, joy, and love.  I'll never forget that.  Alzheimer's was protecting him from realizing just how sick his bride truly was.  It was evident to all of us and everyone around her, but him.  He knew she was not feeling well, but did not realize the severity of the situation.  He sat and held her hand for a long time.  

So I'm sitting here writing with some mixed emotions.  I am remembering parts of one of the saddest weeks of my entire life last year and yet those incredibly happy moments I had with dad.  

I am thinking it is amazing how that conversation turned into what is happening today!  How this entire dream to honor dad has come alive, taken off, and come true for the kids of today.

This is where we are:

The Joe Poston Scholarship Program has been established for the next 5 years.

The funds from Dad's gift to the YMCA of Greater Charlotte will be split equally between two branches:  Dowd in Uptown and Stratford-Richardson

What is taking place today is the Dowd piece.

Westerly Hills Academy is a Charlotte Mecklenburg School.  During the summer months it partners with First Presbyterian Church for a summer enrichment program.  Kids are identified who need extra help with math or reading skills and the camp provides instruction and academic enrichment for those kids during the summer morning hours. Then, in the afternoon there are field trips and activities for the 1st-4th graders.  There are 60 kids in this camp.

There is an interesting detail I learned in the winter, when my brother and I were speaking at the Dowd YMCA's board meeting to tell about the gift Dad had made and to tell some of his "Y Story".  Westerly Hills Academy Camp director had called the Y asking if they could partner with them on anything for their afternoons with the kids.  They were looking for some kind of sports or athletic type activity.  

The YMCA responded something like this:  "We actually can help you with that request.  We just received a generous donation from someone a few days ago and it is for aquatics.  Would you be interested in aquatics?"  This phone call was made the same week my brother and I sat down with the financial development people at the YMCA of Greater CLT and I made the donation on Dad's behalf.  

Wow!  Wow!  
Do you see how this just took off?  God is so amazingly wonderful!  There was a need of the camp children and the means of provision were there waiting literally right when they needed it!  

Now today, those 60 children from Westerly Hills summer enrichment program will be receiving 4 free swim lessons the month of July!  In addition to that, they will receive a towel, goggles, swim cap and bag because many families might not have the financial means to purchase those extra items which are nice for the kids to have when learning to swim.  

I am so excited!!  This piece of the scholarship will take place every summer starting today, through 2018.  

I am going to go to Dowd this afternoon with the boys to meet the director of the camp.
I've asked the Y for photos, because I want to document this for our family.  So hopefully I'll be able to post some photos later of the swim lessons.

The aquatics director is very excited!  She said it might be nice to have the Dowd "shaken up" a bit in a good way with children coming.  Dowd is an adult facility.  It is not a family YMCA.  So not a lot of kids around the pool area most of the time, except for swim lessons.  

So we're going to shake the Dowd up a bit today!  I say, "Ok!"  Dad would probably say, "Let's do it!!"  He would be on the pool floor cheering them on, talking with the instructors, watching it ALL!  Then a thought came to me and I changed my mind on that thought.  Dad would be "in" the pool too, with the kids.  He'd probably prefer to "be" one of the instructors if he were still alive and in good health.

I do not know how this gift will affect lives, but it is in God's hands.  It is His gift really.  I am praying that kids who were afraid of the water will conquer that fear.  I am praying too that because the kids will learn some basic skills this time around that they will want more instruction, that they will learn enough to be safer in the water and it will prevent a drowning one day.  Perhaps a parent who has been terrified of the water and had a bad experience will be inspired by their own children and the staff at the YMCA and will be willing to try swimming again so they can get in the pool with their kids.  Maybe they will think it's not too late for them to learn to swim either.  So many hopes and dreams.... 

I don't really know where this is all headed for the lives of the kids, but it is a door that is open.  An opportunity given.  I'm trusting God for the rest.


Make a big splash Westerly Hills Academy! Make a big splash for my dad!  

Most importantly make a big splash for yourself!  
You can do it!  You are unique and special and can do tremendous things!

More to come soon!  

A Gift to Make You Smile

Sometimes acts of kindness go a long way and arrive at the perfect time.  It is special, when you can take part in sharing that kindness too.  

I feel like I've made a new friend at the YMCA since December.  His name is Anthony Grillo.
He has played a special role in helping to get our dream off the ground for Dad through Dad's gift to the YMCA of Greater Charlotte.  He's given us his time, his input, shared his enthusiasm and joy for those he helps every day at the YMCA of Greater Charlotte.  Recently, he has shown a special kindness to my Dad..... He has given Dad a gift.

A gift to make you smile.

A book with photos from the Stratford Richardson YMCA full of eager swimmers and some of their swim instructors.

The first time Anthony shared these photos with me before the book was made, I cried.  I did.  It made my day!  Yes, sometimes I cry these days when my day is made!  This was one of those times.  The photos were so beautiful and full of joy!  All of those smiling faces.... oh. my. goodness!   My brother and I had just met with Anthony, Dean Jones and Laura in Aquatics to finalize Dad's gift to the YMCA at the end of December when I saw these photos.  Seeing this dream in the making....wow....I am humbled so much.  It's hard to put into words how special this is.  My prayer remains for the Lord to take this dream and help it come true for families in need.  So many children just like these in the photos will learn to be proficient swimmers.  It will provide many opportunities in aquatics for families who cannot afford lessons for their children, or who want to learn to swim as an adult.  There are so many ways the Lord could take this.

All I know is I trust the Lord with my DREAM and I trust Him with my daddy's illness.  Even if Dad may never "fully" see this dream come true due to his current state of health with Alzheimer's, we will be his eyes, ears, mouth and feet when we need to.  There is so much of our dad in Tom and I both.  He has poured so much of his love and himself into our lives that we carry his love around with us in our hearts all the time.  We are here to keep the dream alive and well!  I am so excited to be involved with this over the next five years for Dad, for the those whom this will impact, and for those with whom we are involved at the YMCA of Greater CLT and whomever else may cross my path along the way.

I picked up the photo album at the Dowd on Friday and brought it over to give to Dad the next day.
When I opened the box there was a note inside....

Oh Anthony.... how special!  My son, Joseph and I couldn't wait to open the album and we did right then and there, in the car, in the parking lot of the Dowd.  Joseph said, "Granddad is going to really like this!"  I agreed.  I also couldn't wait to show it to Tom or my husband Mike!

These are photos from that day!  Thank you Anthony for your kindness in making a gift which tangibly can be shown to my father to bring him joy.  His 45 years at the YMCA were some of the happiest times of his life.  If he can't physically make it to the Dowd right now for his special day, we can always show him the photo album anytime we visit and we can reminisce about the YMCA!

One a side note..... when my brother and I walked in.... Dad just happened to be wearing one of his DOWD YMCA staff polo shirts.  What a coincidence!  No one could have planned that!  I started laughing.  I did.  How PERFECT!!  I just smile when I see Dad wearing one of his Y shirts.

Anthony Grillo these photos of my daddy are for you!

Thanks for bringing joy to my dad!

Most truly yours,
Judith

"When you're smilin', the whole world smiles with you!"
~ Louis Armstrong

BEST day of the Year! The Dream is Alive Part 2

Dean, Judith, Tom and Laura

December 20, 2012
Wow.... I am so humbled today.  This has been the BEST day ever!

I can't really tell you how special this is to watch something like this unfold.

To think that 7 months ago I mentioned a dream I had about doing something special to honor Dad and his lifetime service to the YMCA, to Land Hite, our dear family friend and CFP. I don't know what I would have done without this man in my life the past 2 years as related to Mom and Dad.  He has been one of the biggest blessings in my life during my stewardship of my parents' affairs on all levels.  Just knowing he is there is huge to us.  He's always there to help, give advice, encourage and pray for us.  I tell him all the time, "Land Hite, you are something else!"  And he is....  As related to this story, Land is heavily involved at the Harris Branch YMCA and is on the board there.  He loved my idea and helped me to brain storm how to go about getting this dream off the ground for Dad.  Before I knew it, I was put in touch with Dean Jones and today the dream was put in motion.  It is absolutely incredible.

Land and I

To be a part of something this big, I'm just speechless and yet I want to tell the entire world I'm so excited about how this could positively impact lives of the future.  What I do know is that Dad would love what is going to happen and we are praying that he will get to see a glimpse of what his gift is doing to help young swimmers before his illness becomes too dark.  Tom and I WANT more than anything for him to see the fruit of this.  He would be thrilled beyond measure.  We both know it.

To hear the dreams around the conference table today of the people who work at the YMCA of Greater Charlotte and know the needs in aquatics was amazing.  There are so many needs for Stratford Richardson on West Blvd.  It is a gorgeous facility.  The needs of the people whom it serves are HUGE.  We have heard how big over the past 2 weeks.

The Stratford Richardson YMCA

Dreams recounted by Laura the Aquatics Director for all of the Charlotte branch YMCAs were so touching.  Her dreams are so big, she says they are in "Laura Land" but Tom said, "That seems like a great place and I like Laura Land."  I do too.  Having dreams is what it is all about!   We got to hear Dean Jones, Senior Vice President of Financial Development talk about his dreams and reiterate how touched he was by Dad's story and what we want to do to honor Dad.  Then of course Anthony Grillo, YCommunity Financial Development Director, shares his heart like he does so very well and you see how much the minority kids and their families in the western corridor of our city mean to him. He has such a big heart for the Charlotte community and it is contagious.

Mike was talking with me this afternoon when I got home from my meeting at the Dowd.  I was in tears in the car driving home in the rain and traffic, at the thought of the potential this has and where it could go and how very personal it has become for our family.  I am in awe about how God is taking this and allowing it to happen for his sake.  It is not just about Dad.  It is much bigger than that I'm seeing. Mike told me he was proud of me and what I was doing for Dad.  He said, "This is going to have a really big impact."  I have a feeling he is really right about that.

So, you have to start somewhere.  This is what I'm seeing.  The Stratford Richardson YMCA is in its infancy in program development.  Years down the road are dreams which are in the making now.  It will take awhile to get there Anthony tells us.  The potential for growth is huge.  It's like a diamond in the rough.  There were empty fields with trees Anthony showed us two weeks ago.  He didn't see fields, he saw a community facility for children where the Y could partner with the community more.  He saw flag football and soccer games on new fields and a track and more.  The dream is alive and well at Stratford Richardson.

Our focus is aquatics because that was Dad's love and where he made such a big impact for those 45 years as a swim instructor.  So much of what we will do will be in the aquatics realm at the Stratford Richardson and Dowd YMCA's.  Laura told us about how many life vests they have at Stratford Richarson and how many kids get in the water wearing those vests because it is a requirement for non proficient swimmers.  She said that you just see their little heads bobbing up and down and it is so sad because you know they don't know how to swim and you want to help so badly with that.  I'd love to see more vests hang on those pegs because kids have learned how to be proficient swimmers.  We need to get these kids swimming so they are safe in the water.

The Reid Park Elementary Connection

There is an uncanny connection which just floors me quite frankly.  I'd never imagine my life would come full circle like this on such a personal level, but it has!  This dream could connect me AND my dad to a place where I loved teaching.  A place that brought me so much joy in my career in teaching.   Of ALL the schools in Charlotte Mecklenburg which connect to Stratford Richardson, it is this one.....  Reid Park Elementary where I taught for 5 years as a French teacher.  Reid Park partners with the Stratford Richardson YMCA with its Y READERS program during the summer.  They take Reid Park K-2 students and give them literacy lessons at the YMCA during the summer months.  It is a partnership which is working and kids are improving their reading skills by leaps and bounds.  Anthony is passionate about the YReaders program.  He feels like if you can get a child to read on grade level by 3rd grade, you have actually helped the child to achieve much more than that down the road in his or her life.  After teaching at Reid Park for the years I did,  I am fully aware of the needs.  They have not changed in 13 years.

This connection with Reid Park was discussed today in regards to Aquatics.

Possible DREAM #1

Start a Swim Academy at Reid Park where all 2nd graders (over 70 children) would come to the Stratford Richardson Y for swim lessons during the school year.  A program just like this with Sterling Elementary and the Harris YMCA has been a huge success this past year. All of Sterling's 2nd graders learned to swim! Sterling and Harris would be the model for Reid Park and Stratford Richardson.  

A swim academy started by my DAD!  Oh. my. heavens.  I am so excited at the possibility of this!  And at Reid Park!  Do you see how personal this is becoming?  My daddy would LOVE this so much!  He loves children and would be thrilled so many will learn to swim because of his big heart.  

When I told Dean Jones and Anthony Grillo two weeks ago that I worked at Reid Park for 5 years their mouths just dropped.  They couldn't believe it.  I couldn't believe what they were telling me either about the Y's connections.  It is one small world.....

The other ideas out there are connect the swim lessons for Reid Park Students with the YREADERS program during the summer months.  Have the kids do literacy in the morning and learn to swim in the afternoon after lunch.  Or possibly have their after school program children at Stratford Richardson walk 15 steps to the pool in the afternoons for swim lessons.

There will be lots to consider, but the ball is rolling and things will get off the ground in 2013.  They were ALL so very excited about this fact today.   These wonderful people at the YMCA keep telling me what a big impact what we are doing will make over the next five years.

 When I heard this statistic I knew what we were doing was important.

The Centers for Disease Control say that Drowning is

the #2 cause of accidental death in children.

That is sobering.  Let's give them the life skills now to be proficient swimmers.  Let's teach the parents too, so it is a family affair.  Let's get these families to the YMCA so they can see for themselves what a great place it is and perhaps just perhaps a parent or two or three might want to begin exercising for the first time in their lives and get on the road to being more healthy.  Perhaps just maybe the love of swimming will be sparked in some child's heart and he will continue with swimming like people do with other sports... for the love of what it is.  Maybe minorities will become proficient swimmers so that they can in return give back and want to become life guards or swim instructors themselves in their community in West Charlotte.

Laura's dream was to see minority swim instructors and life guards one day giving back to the community.  How many minority life guards do you see?  Not many. How many swim instructors?  Probably even fewer.  Anthony talked about a swim team with Stratford Richardson one year down the road.  The potential is there, but the Stratford YMCA program development isn't at that point yet.  Dad is just starting a ball to roll in aquatics there with a possible swim academy.  Then I'm just praying others will see all the great things that are taking place and it will spark someone else's heart to give generously to what Dad has started.  His gift will not last forever, five years is a good amount of time to get something established.  I'm hoping it is the start of something which will continue to grow in its impacting of future swimmers and will be perpetuated by others who want to give to the YMCA.  You just never know what will happen! That's the exciting part!  How many lives will this save?  How many kids will not be one of those terrible statistics because they learned the life skill of swimming?

Dad you would be so thrilled with the details.

The last idea Laura shared with us was to have an award given out at the YMCA each year for Excellence in Swim Instruction.  This award would be to honor Dad and would have his name on the award.  This could continue for years and years to come.  My dad was always conscientious about recognizing a job well done.  If he was pleased with service, he told the manager.  If an employee at a business did something exceptional he went out of his way to acknowledge that job well done to the person's supervisor.  He wrote letters to superiors complimenting excellence.  It was something he was passionate about. I watched him do it.  This is the PERFECT way to honor him if you are talking about an award given to Y swim instructors.  I am SO happy about this possibility!  We'll see what happens!  

I don't know where God will take all of this.  There are lots of dreams and ideas.  I just know I gave it all to Him today.  Lord may your will be done!   I'm just so INCREDIBLY humbled and excited!

This is a thank you letter Laura shared with us after one of the 2nd graders from Sterling Elementary had learned to swim at the Harris YMCA.

Let's see how many more kids we can reach!

Will keep you posted as this unfolds and we find out where the YMCA wants to start.
Truly this is amazing.

"DAD's DAY at the DOWD" is in the planning stages.
As Tom says so well, "This is one of your own, YMCA!"  Yes, one of YMCA's "own" is returning....
We're getting Dad back to the Dowd one more time.

Dean Jones is so excited about this.  He hasn't even met Dad before but can't wait to, he's heard so much about him.   I get teary eyed just thinking about my Dad "seeing" that pool he loved being at so much.  What will Dad remember when he steps onto the pool floor at the DOWD (Central) YMCA where he taught for 4 decades?  What will the smell of chlorine do for him with his dementia?  What happy memories will come alive for him one more time and make him smile?   I will need a Kleenex box of my own.  The boys will be there with us and will swim for him.  Mike will be there.  Laura, Dean and Anthony will be there.  No one wants to miss it!

More to come on that!  It's going to be something else!

The Dream is Alive

The slate is blank, the dream is big.....

Tomorrow the dream goes into motion and we then step back and watch as the future unfolds....

I've never been so excited in all my life to do something on behalf of my father.
It will be part of his legacy of 45 years of service to the YMCA.

Tomorrow Tom and I dream big with some great people at the YMCA of Greater Charlotte.  All for Dad, because he was always the great example of what caring about and believing in others meant.  He is leaving a legacy of love.  Tomorrow is for you, Dad.  I only wish Mom could have lived to see this day.

Can't wait to see what God has in store for the the kids of the future in aquatics at the YMCA.

To God be the glory!

A song which describes how my Dad has always lived his life and how I want to live mine.....  I'm so thankful for his example and that he showed me and taught me how to love.  What a gift of a father he has always been to me.
I want my life, to be like Dad's (and my mother's) where LOVE counts for everything and is the song of my life, the air I breathe, the standard by which I live and what people remember the most.  That is a legacy that will count for the future.

I Can Do Anything, I Can Go Anywhere, but I'd rather be at the YMCA

This is the saying on one of my Dad's many staff t-shirts from the YMCA.  He has quite a collection, I must say!

 On the back it says, "But I belong at the YMCA"

I still catch my dad wearing one of his Y polo shirts or t-shirts under a sweater these days.  When I see him wearing one, my hand lately just wants to grab my heart, because I know what those shirts stand for.... and I know how far his journey has come.  My brother and I weren't born when his story began at the YMCA, but we've seen a lot of the journey and my brother and I are a full part of where his journey is now with Alzheimer's Disease.  We have our wonderful memories of Dad before the disease took hold.  It is bittersweet.  Today, we walk with our Dad through this valley of the "long goodbye".  It's an honor to walk with him and it's tough.  We love him so much.  

 His love, happy disposition, gratitude, and compassion remain and there are other pieces of our Dad which have not left him.  We hang onto those parts with everything we've got.  It is amazing to me despite it all, how good God is to allow the part I treasure the most, (Dad's recognition of us his family and love for us) to be with us still.  

Through it all I know the Lord walks with us.

 I want to share Dad's (Joe's) story of the YMCA here on this little blog of mine because it is a great story.  It is an example of the difference one person can make in so many lives just because you love what you do.

Our family started swim lessons again this summer.  Philip (age 8) needed to learn free style and back stroke.  Joseph, our 11 year old, just needed to brush up on technique for his strokes and learn Breast and Butterfly.  We are members of the Fort Mill (Baxter) YMCA.

Philip in the lane on the left, Joseph on the right swimming back stroke.

What a beautiful facility!  We love it there!

Whenever I mention us being at the Y, my dad is always thrilled.   I tell him about us being there a lot.  The YMCA!  Ahhhh..... one of my Daddy's favorite places.  He would be so proud of his grandsons.

  

 I grew up going to the Y.  I learned to swim in this exact pool at the Dowd YMCA (formerly the Central Y) in the photo below.  My brother learned to swim there and my dad taught adult swim lessons part time there Tuesday and Thursday nights consistently for over 30 years.

 His actual service at the Central/Dowd YMCA in aquatics dates back to 1961, so truly overall, it's been more like 45 years.  When Dad was in his 70's he did not teach as consistently, but was always willing to take on a class when called if he was available during his retirement.

 It was his love, teaching others to swim.  I remember so clearly those Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, Dad coming home from his full time career job at DuPont and jogging through the house in his suit coat and tie....straight to the bedroom to change his clothes and get ready for his adult swim class.  It was almost like Clark Kent.  One moment he was all corporate and then he would come out transformed in a YMCA tee shirt with his name badge "Joe" attached, shorts, flip flops and a nose plug jiggling around his neck.  (Very much like the pool photo below) 

At the Dowd YMCA in the 1990's.

Mom would have dinner all ready for him at 6pm and then he'd eat and was out the door.  Many nights in the summer time he would ride his bicycle to the Central Y, which was only about 3 miles from our house.  He'd come home some nights with stories of success..... a woman or man absolutely terrified of the water or putting their face in the water, but with his coaxing, "can do it" attitude and extreme patience, my daddy taught even the MOST reluctant person to swim.  Only one other instructor taught as long as he did at the Central Y, Jack Morrow, and he was legend. 

Dad in 1981 at the Central YMCA before the 2nd pool expansion to the pool area.

He even won the prestigious "Rose Award" in 2006, at age 74,  for outstanding service and excellence at the Dowd YMCA.  The Rose Award is one which is given out quarterly.  The special thing about this honor is that to receive the award you are chosen by your peers.  The people Dad worked with chose him for this award.  Now that is special!  We have it proudly displayed in his shadow box next to his door in the Memory Care Building where he now lives.

Currently in the shadow box outside his room door in Memory Care

 Dad gave up teaching swimming to take care of Mom, when she was so sick from battling cancer the 2nd time.  We almost lost her in the hospital before her diagnosis and chemo treatment even started.  The hospital stay lasted 5 weeks.  When she came home she was weak.  He was worried.  He would not leave her side for long periods of time.  When the YMCA called during those times  to ask him to teach a class, he always put Mom first and gracefully told the Y "no".  What was so nice, was that the YMCA understood how important family was.  Dad would do anything for Mom and did.  He took her to every single doctor's appointment, every single chemotherapy session,  to the grocery store,  just anything she needed he provided.   

2006 recovery from Non Hodgkins Lymphoma

Amazingly, Mom bounced back that year and we were all so grateful!  I was thankful for the way Dad cared for Mom and the example of love he showed to us.  We had three more years with her than any of us expected.  This July we lost Mom to diabetes and cancer for a 4th time.  It has been a huge loss to our family.  It's so hard to think of Dad without Mom.  59 years of marriage....they were always together.  There is just no Joe without Ethel and no Ethel without Joe.  It's been a tough year.

50th Wedding Anniversary 2003

Even though my Dad stopped doing many things for himself during these last few years.  He's never forgotten the joy swimming at the YMCA always gave him.  

The water....  just being in the water and being around people there.  He was always a people person.  Being around people was his "element".  He did more than just teach others to swim on the pool floor, I believe.  He cared about people.  He was interested in people's struggles and lives.  He made many friends and knowing my dad as I always have, he was good at that.  It is a gift my Daddy has always had, making a new friend and making people feel comfortable and setting another at ease no matter where he is. 

Usually he did this by an encouraging compliment and often times a funny comment which made someone else laugh.  He has always been a big kid, which is one reason why he was successful teaching others to swim.  He had a way of making everyone around him smile.  Yet he was serious and firm when need be.  He wanted his students to be successful and he didn't give up on anyone.   It was just his personality.  Yes, I do believe he did more than just give lessons to people at the YMCA.  He invested personally into people's lives.... students, other members and staff.  

Dad had one of the smoothest freestyle strokes I ever saw too, the way his 6'2'' frame cut through the water with no splash...  just beautiful.  I always wanted to swim with quality like he could.   One thing my Dad always gave me was great, candid, gentle advice on my swim strokes, whenever I asked.  The way he gave constructive criticism never made me feel inadequate or insignificant. 

He made me feel like I could accomplish anything if I put my mind to it and practiced.  

That's the way he approached so many things.  

Two of his favorite sayings were, "You can do it!" and "We'll make it work!".  Oh and let's not forget that incessant word forever stuck in my brain,  "Kick! Kick! Kick!" (smile).

In 2009, when cancer struck Mom a third time, we were all pretty shaken up.  They could not treat her with chemo this time nor put her into remission.   Dad, at 77, was once again care giver at home.  There was no stopping his love and devotion for Mom.  I have never seen more love and sacrifice exemplified in another human being than my father had for my mother during that year.  It was so incredibly sweet and inspiring, yet, he had us all concerned, because he was on the verge of burning himself out.  We all knew a great solution for him to relieve some stress, and have some peace each week....  

...Swimming at the Y!  

Of course!  

We all begged him to go back to Dowd, just once a week that year when Mom was sick,  just to do something for himself, not even to teach, but just to swim.  He even had the Dowd aquatic schedule taped to the wall above the phone in the kitchen with the "free swim times" highlighted, but he never would go on his own but a couple of times.

He just didn't want to leave Mom.  

She was his bride.

Nothing can separate true love.

What a love too!

  I get teary eyed thinking about it to this day.

It was sad for us to see Dad give up swimming like that.  It meant so much to him.  Yet, we all understood perfectly.  

My brother even took him to Dowd a few times that same year when he moved with Mom to the retirement community.  He loved that.  He started doing some physical therapy in assisted living.  I suggested trying water therapy with him in the retirement community pool, which the therapist thought was a great idea!  They all knew he had taught swimming and loved the water.  When they took him into the outdoor pool that day (at age 78), he blew them all away by swimming the length of the pool with a smooth freestyle.  Even with Alzheimers he wowed them and they couldn't believe it.  The therapist told me later, "You said your dad could swim....well you were not joking!  Wow!  I didn't expect that!"  That therapy in the pool never went too far due to a fall he had shortly after the water therapy started.  He never went back to the Dowd Y either after his fall....he then required a walker.  Then his memory got worse and worse....  

Now there is the "dream" of the pool.  Not to swim anymore, those times are past due to his illness.  The dream now is to just have him sit "pool side" and see his grandsons swim.   Just one time.... And we have the bigger dream of impacting the lives of kids and adults for the future.....  I know he loves this idea.  The day I told him about helping fund opportunities for kids to learn how to swim just this summer, he said he'd like to be a part of that.  With the help of some awesome people, Dad's legacy will live on even in a small way, in the lives of others.  

You show Dad a picture of the pool today and his face still lights up with his wonderful smile.

 He has not forgotten the YMCA.

So that first day of swim lessons this summer, when we were in the indoor pool and it looked and smelled so much like the Dowd,  I couldn't help but think of him.  The Aquatics director said the most interesting thing to us parents before the swim class.

"Parents, the most important part of swimming lessons is the relationship built between your child and his or her instructor.  This special relationship will make the biggest impact in your child's progress. The more your child builds trust with this person, the more success he or she will have"  

Ok, I started to get choked up a bit.   I'm sure I was the ONLY one that did.  It is kind of a crazy thing to get choked up about!  But how true!  The reality hit me to think of Dad at that moment, and the impact he must have made on so many lives as a swim instructor  for 40+ years at the YMCA.  

Those relationships and the trust he built with hundreds of people over 4 decades...  

He has taught children and adults alike.  He's taught them all, but teaching an adult is SO much harder than teaching a child!  To think of the trust you must build with an adult who is terrified of the water..... No easy task.

I couldn't help but think of the impact of my father and the impact those sweet swim instructors are having on all of those children I saw our first day of swim lessons. 

 I  think one of the most important life skills you can learn is to swim.  You never know when you might need it.  Truly, that is what these instructors are doing.  They are teaching you, how you-yourself can save your own life one day or even the life of another.  

 Dad taught our oldest son, Joseph how to swim.  He was never able to teach our youngest Philip due to his illness, but I know minus the disease, he would have loved nothing more than to teach Philip as well.

I take video of the boys these days at the Baxter YMCA and show them to Dad often.  He loves that. 

His grandsons are taking to the water very well.  

June 21st 2012  Climbing out of the pool after he completed 25 m all by himself!

There are some very talented, caring, awesome instructors at the Fort Mill YMCA!  They are building relationships.  They love kids.  It shows.  We are so blessed.  I have told the Aquatics Director at the Fort Mill YMCA about Dad.  She couldn't believe it.  She said I made her day sharing his story.  She said she "needed" to hear things like that, it was very inspiring and thanked me for sharing. 

I recently told Philip's latest instructor about Dad too.  It was his first time teaching the fall session.  Dad's story touched him.  He even told me with his hand on his heart, "Wow, thank you. That gives me hope that I can do this." (meaning be an instructor for a length of time)   He meant it so sincerely.  You could just tell he was taken back by Dad's story.  You just never know who is going to be touched by someone else's experience.  I will always be humbled and excited to share Dad's story with others.

Joseph just told Granddad Thanksgiving weekend that he swam 16 laps non stop.  That's 400 meters.  He's never done that before!  Do you know what Granddad's words were to Joseph with a big grin on his face?  "I'm proud of you, Son."  

Oh my goodness... for him to see his grandsons swim,  just one more time, while he is still mobile.  It is becoming harder and harder for him to get out these days and his illness is so unpredictable day to day.  

It's still my dream for a good enough day to do this.....God willing it will happen for him.
  

Saying another prayer for the legacy to come for future swimmers!  
Oh to dream big on behalf of your father! 
It is an honor.  
It is special. 
It is the best feeling in the world!

We love you Dad.