Mom's Orchid

I'm not sure what it is about flowers and our family, but it has happened again....

Comfort during a time of grief.... and yes it is another flower bringing comfort.  

This time it is comfort for my brother Tom and my mom's older sister Willie Mae....

It is not a sunflower this time either, which comforted me recently and is my favorite flower.

It is one of my mother's favorite flowers.... an orchid.

Mom and Dad in Hawaii in 1992

Mom's love of orchids came from newly wed years in Hawaii in the mid 1950's with Dad while he was in the Navy.

On my Mom's last birthday (her 82nd) her big sister gave her a beautiful white orchid.

Mom and Willie Mae on Mom's last birthday

We have all given Mom orchids over the years.  Jenny, Barbara, Willie Mae, Dad, myself.... They did better at the condo when Mom and Dad were living there. Mom did well keeping them pretty.  At the nursing home,  they were gorgeous for a time, but after they bloomed out, we always had trouble getting them to stay alive or to bloom again if the leaves remained.  There was something about her room there that was problematic.

The day Mom died, Tom took the last orchid Mom had left in her room home with him.  The stalk where the flowers had bloomed was all dried up and dead.  He put it in a window at his apartment and watered it during the summer and fall.  He's never had a green thumb he says with orchids.  Many other plants he's had tremendous success with.  The orchid however, has always been a botanical challenge.  He really didn't expect anything to happen with it.  There were still 3 green leaves left to the plant, but he really didn't think it would bloom again.  However, he had nothing to lose by putting it in the well lighted window either.

What we didn't realize until just about a week ago, was which orchid this one was.  By looking back at photos Tom and I realized that this one he took home that day was Mom's birthday orchid from Willie Mae!

Tom showed me his photo of the orchid in January.  It was the most precious sight!  I was so touched.  He was too.  What a neat surprise gift!  Thank you once again God for these little gifts which mean so much.  It has been a big comfort to my brother during this time.   It is like part of Mom is right there and her love is inside those little buds and blooms.  Hope is there.  Hope of new life.  Anticipation of beauty in those blooms to come.

I want to share these photos my brother took with you, so you can see how this all evolved.  It truly is a beautiful sight!

Willie Mae, these photos are for you.   We love you so much!  I know you will be as thrilled as we are!! Tom is enjoying your birthday gift you gave Mom.  Would Mom have wanted it any other way?  I don't think so...

December leaves 

and January buds

First bloom

My favorite.... Four blooms with our February snow in the background.

Tom says there are 5 blooms open today.

I'm going to go see it soon.

So thankful for these comforts when you miss someone so much.  Every time a bloom opens it's blessed reassurance.  It is Mom saying, "Hi Darlin', I love you!  I'm still here, I'm just in a different place!  I'm alive, you will see me again. I can't wait to see you too!   Just look to heaven and Christ, who made this beautiful orchid and there I am.  I promise we'll be together again one day.  Keep living your life with joy!  

God does care about our suffering and losses and He most definitely gives us a hope for a future- one which is alive, well, and beautiful in Him.

Sparking Our Imaginations During Lent

~First Sunday in Lent~

Oswald Chambers writes about our imaginations in My Utmost for His Highest.  He poses a valid question "Is our imagination stayed on God or is it starved?"

"Is your imagination stayed on God or is it starved?  The starvation of the imagination is one of the most fruitful sources of exhaustion and sapping in a worker's life.  If you have never used your imagination to put yourself before God, begin to do it now.  It is no use waiting for God to come; you must put your imagination away from the face of idols and look unto Him and be saved.  Imagination is the greatest gift God has given us and it ought to be devoted entirely to Him.  If you have been bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, it will be one of the greatest assets to faith when the time of trial comes, because your faith and the Spirit of God will work together.  Learn to associate ideas worth of God with all that happens in Nature- the sunrises and the sunsets, the sun and the stars, the changing seasons, and your imagination will never be at the mercy of your impulses, but will always be at the service of God."

(Taken from My Utmost for His Highest  February 11 entry Copyright 1935 Dodd Mead & Company)

Nature is such a gift to us.  

This lenten season our family personally needs to feed our imaginations.  We're turning off the technology more frequently which competes for our attention.  Then taking that time to get outside even more than we normally do.  

We just had our first snowfall of the year.  Our youngest son, Philip has been praying for snow since January.  My little meteorologist has been tracking the weather with each storm that comes hoping winter rains will turn into snow.  

Yesterday it finally did and his words to me were, 
"Jesus brought the snow I prayed for!"  

There were so many smiles yesterday and today.

It wasn't enough to just watch snow falling, though I think our son would have been happy if that were his only option. 

When the flakes started appearing there was exuberant excitement and hurried questions of "Can I go outside now??"  He wanted to be in the middle of it, experiencing the flakes as they fell on his coat, his hands, his face.

Yesterday and today he was covered in snow!

Why does snow spark our God given gift of imagination? 
Is it because each and every snowflake that falls is different from the next one which touches the ground?

How could anyone but God do that?  

Is it the way it sits on tree branches...

as I photograph things close up...

Maybe it is just the wonderment and beauty of it all and knowing God created it to show us some of Himself.

Writer, George McDonald said it well, "If it were not for the outside world, we should have no inside world to understand things by.  Least of all could we understand God without these millions of sights and sounds and scents and motions weaving their endless harmonies.  They come out from His heart to let us know a little of what is in it."

Paul tells us in Romans 1:20 "For since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

God's ever loving presence in our lives... it surrounds us daily when we open our eyes to it.  Sharing in the faith of my 8 year old son also helps me have a renewed appreciation for that very presence.  Seeing the excitement of our first (yet small) Carolina snow this winter, in Philip's eyes, in his smile, and on his lips.  

This week of Lent, may our hearts be more steadfast on Him, feeding our imaginations through what He has created and being thankful for both of those gifts and for Him.

A Gift to Make You Smile

Sometimes acts of kindness go a long way and arrive at the perfect time.  It is special, when you can take part in sharing that kindness too.  

I feel like I've made a new friend at the YMCA since December.  His name is Anthony Grillo.
He has played a special role in helping to get our dream off the ground for Dad through Dad's gift to the YMCA of Greater Charlotte.  He's given us his time, his input, shared his enthusiasm and joy for those he helps every day at the YMCA of Greater Charlotte.  Recently, he has shown a special kindness to my Dad..... He has given Dad a gift.

A gift to make you smile.

A book with photos from the Stratford Richardson YMCA full of eager swimmers and some of their swim instructors.

The first time Anthony shared these photos with me before the book was made, I cried.  I did.  It made my day!  Yes, sometimes I cry these days when my day is made!  This was one of those times.  The photos were so beautiful and full of joy!  All of those smiling faces.... oh. my. goodness!   My brother and I had just met with Anthony, Dean Jones and Laura in Aquatics to finalize Dad's gift to the YMCA at the end of December when I saw these photos.  Seeing this dream in the making....wow....I am humbled so much.  It's hard to put into words how special this is.  My prayer remains for the Lord to take this dream and help it come true for families in need.  So many children just like these in the photos will learn to be proficient swimmers.  It will provide many opportunities in aquatics for families who cannot afford lessons for their children, or who want to learn to swim as an adult.  There are so many ways the Lord could take this.

All I know is I trust the Lord with my DREAM and I trust Him with my daddy's illness.  Even if Dad may never "fully" see this dream come true due to his current state of health with Alzheimer's, we will be his eyes, ears, mouth and feet when we need to.  There is so much of our dad in Tom and I both.  He has poured so much of his love and himself into our lives that we carry his love around with us in our hearts all the time.  We are here to keep the dream alive and well!  I am so excited to be involved with this over the next five years for Dad, for the those whom this will impact, and for those with whom we are involved at the YMCA of Greater CLT and whomever else may cross my path along the way.

I picked up the photo album at the Dowd on Friday and brought it over to give to Dad the next day.
When I opened the box there was a note inside....

Oh Anthony.... how special!  My son, Joseph and I couldn't wait to open the album and we did right then and there, in the car, in the parking lot of the Dowd.  Joseph said, "Granddad is going to really like this!"  I agreed.  I also couldn't wait to show it to Tom or my husband Mike!

These are photos from that day!  Thank you Anthony for your kindness in making a gift which tangibly can be shown to my father to bring him joy.  His 45 years at the YMCA were some of the happiest times of his life.  If he can't physically make it to the Dowd right now for his special day, we can always show him the photo album anytime we visit and we can reminisce about the YMCA!

One a side note..... when my brother and I walked in.... Dad just happened to be wearing one of his DOWD YMCA staff polo shirts.  What a coincidence!  No one could have planned that!  I started laughing.  I did.  How PERFECT!!  I just smile when I see Dad wearing one of his Y shirts.

Anthony Grillo these photos of my daddy are for you!

Thanks for bringing joy to my dad!

Most truly yours,
Judith

"When you're smilin', the whole world smiles with you!"
~ Louis Armstrong

Our First Signs of Spring 2013

February in the Carolinas is never predictable.  I've lived here all my life and one thing that has never changed is our winters.  One day spring like, the next day wintery.

Spring daffodils, hyacinths and fruit trees are often confused by our ever changing temperatures and it is not unique to see daffodils or the purple blossoms of the Red Bud tree in late February.

My little meteorologist, Philip, (age 8) is wishing for snow.  His favorite hobby is tracking the weather on the radar of one of our local tv station's websites, or on weather. com.  He is all about storms and these past few weeks, snow!  How he longs for snow!  Just an inch would make him happy at this point.  I keep telling him it's still possible for us to get some snow where we live.  Some of our biggest snows here have been in February and March.

Yet, out in our front yard, mother nature has arrived..... a bit earlier than expected.  It's hard to convince an 8 year old that we may still get snow if spring is making itself known already. 

I would love some snow!  Just one good snow for us would be 3-5 inches.  Then it would melt in the next 2 days and be gone.  Our cousins up north in Massachusetts just got a foot or more of snow!  Even though a bit of snow would be nice.  I can't help but smile when I see these flowers return each year.... even THREE weeks earlier than normal!  They have seen freezing temperatures and snow before when in bloom.  

Here are some glimpses of springtime already arriving in our yard.

Daffodils

Old Fashioned Roman Hyacinths

Some of my favorite flowers are already here....  
....and I'm waiting for a little snow this month if it ever comes!  

Snow and flowers..... I like them both, but I have to admit I will always love flowers more!  

The Silver Lining Part 2 ~ People who share your love and appreciation of your loved one

What is the silver lining in this heart breaking disease of Alzheimer's?

I first wrote about LOVE being the main silver lining I see in our family's journey with my dad.

Tonight another one came to my mind.  I want to try to start writing down some of these "silver linings" I find along the journey.  When I look back I can see those things for which I'm grateful and be reminded of those things when we are having bad days.

Tonight the silver lining has to do with other people.

People who love your loved one also.

People who appreciate, admire, and have a history with your loved one.

I received a phone call tonight out of the blue on my dad's cellphone.  Months ago he stopped being able to understand how to make calls on his phone, answer calls on his phone and really just would see the phone and not understand what it was.  This was a bit hard to swallow over a period of a month or two.  One thing my dad and I were able to do for the past 3 years since he moved to the retirement community was talk on the phone every single day sometimes many times a day.  He'd call me or my brother about different things at all hours of the day or night.  He needed advice.  He needed something from the store.  He'd call to ask a question about something he was confused about.  He'd share about how bad his memory was and how anxious he was about his life living with this disease.  So many things.... And he'd still call to tell me he loved me.  He always ended his calls with "Thank you honey."  Always so grateful for me talking to him.  At one point my brother and I became the "calming voice in the storm of memory loss".  He depended on us so much during those moments when he lived in assisted living. The phone was truly our life line for those years.

When the phone stopped ringing completely I knew the step down was permanent.  He would never be calling me on his own again.  So I brought the phone to my house for safe keeping.  I was planning on canceling the number and the phone line.... I just have never had the heart to do it yet.

After tonight I'm glad I hadn't.

Someone called his phone tonight.  It was an old friend of his from the NC mountains.  Someone he'd worked with on projects with his company for at least 12 years.  They had formed a friendship in working together and that friendship continued over a 20 year period.

What was so interesting about this call was how this gentleman called in the first place.  He had found an old address book.  He hadn't seen it in a long while.  He started looking through it.  He then thought of Dad, he explained.  He looked under the letter of Dad's last name and found his number.  He had no idea if the number was the right one anymore, but thought he'd try it.  He had lost touch with Dad for the past 5 years.

That would have been the last summer Mom and Dad went to the mountains to house sit for friends during the summer months.  It was the last time they spent any significant time in that area of the NC mountains.

So it was a surprise when I answered the phone yet the man did not even 100% expect Dad to answer.

We had the nicest conversation.

He told me over about 45 minutes the story of a friendship that had spanned 20 years.  He told me about what he did as a profession and how Dad was involved with the projects that he was in charge of with driver safety training.  Dad would bring the DuPont employees who drove the company cars up to Appalachian State University for an intense driver's safety and training program.  Dad did this for about 12 years.  Employee safety was one thing he was in charge of in the textile fibers department of the Charlotte DuPont office, among many other things.

I also learned my dad and this gentleman were connected by prostate cancer.  His cancer being much worse and his treatments much more intense than Dad's.  They even shared one of the same doctors. I can only imagine what a comfort they were to each other during times of cancer treatments.

I learned how they went out to lunch and what their favorite restaurant was, how Mom and Dad and he and his wife would spend time together when they were in the mountains during some summers.  He shared that he and his wife have been married almost as long as Dad and Mom were.... close to 60 years.

He thought the world of my dad and told me so and why.  He counted him as a very good friend and he said Mom was a true lady and incredibly sweet.

I did have to impart our sad news of Mom's death and Dad's Alzheimer's illness.  I updated him on things and he was so appreciative.  I promised to send him a card in the mail with photos of Dad and the family.  I felt like I'd made a new friend by the end of the conversation.

To have a glimpse of this history, this friendship between this man and my dad was such a comfort to me!  Knowing people remember the dad you have always known and loved is so important when you walk this journey of Alzheimer's.  It always slips out of my mouth to the staff in Memory Care at one time or another how I wished they knew Dad even just 5 years ago.

Knowing other people love your parent too, is more of a comfort than I ever realized.

I do not think I'm going to cancel my dad's phone.... not yet.  Who knows if I'll get another call like this one.  The number is the one my parents have had for over 40 years.  We kept this number for dad so he could remember his telephone number for as long as possible and so his friends would still be able to contact him.

So my silver lining of today is just that.  Hearing the words of a gentleman who has never met me and yet we share something so special in common.....  Dad.

His Mercies Are New Every Morning

The view through my palladium window this morning.  That blue sky and white clouds filtering through bare winter branches.  

I am reminded that it's a new day!  

Thank you for another day Lord!

Today is yours.
What would you have me do today Lord?
I'm listening.

Lamentations 3:21- 23 is one of my favorite verses from Scripture.

"Yet this I call to mind  and therefore I have hope.  Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,  for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning;  great is your faithfulness."  NIV

Why does it bring me hope to know that the Lord's compassions are unfailing?  
Why does it matter to my life that every single morning I wake up His mercies are new?
It makes all of the difference.  I know each day I can start over.  I can turn from ways that are not pleasing to Him, ask for forgiveness and I can choose to follow where He leads.

Today is a fresh slate!  Full of possibilities and opportunities!

The Lord is there for me.  He is just waiting for me to choose Him each day.  To choose to follow Him and be in tune to Him instead of my selfish ways.  He is there with strength, mercy, compassion and faithfulness.

He is faithful to his promises. 
He promises that his love for us is GREAT and because of that love we are not consumed by whatever trials may come our way.  I can count on that.  I know sometimes trials can seem to overwhelm us.  This is when I need to remember Lamentations 3:21-23.

This morning blue sky speckled with the first clouds of February speaks volumes to me.  

It says, "Good morning, my child.  Let's walk through this day hand in hand together."