Life is a gift.

Life is a gift.
"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;" Psalm 139:14
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

A Heritage of Flowers and Love

   

     There are many ways we connect as human beings to each other.  Times shared together bond us in ways that nothing else does.  Memories of acts of kindness or gifts of kindness are etched in our hearts and become little parts of us which connect us together as well.  

    One way my mom and I were connected was by flowers and gardening. I remember so well her tending our flowerbeds on Lockhart with such diligence.  The "tending to" was not always her favorite part, but the end result and seeing the fruits of her labor was always what kept her going.  Mom had all kinds of plants.  What was neat about our flowers is that most all of them were given to us by someone else.  She rarely bought plants.  Tulips and chrysanthemums mainly were what she would buy for just those seasons.  Our yard was literally a flower tapestry.... little bits of someone else's family's heritage passed on to us.  Plants came especially from my aunt and my grandmother's and grandfather's yards, also in Dilworth .  

What is nice is that today I connect with others who do the same thing of gifting or sharing plants.  My aunt and my mother in law continue this tradition in different ways with different plants....Easter lilies, hydrangeas, coreopsis, etc.  Sometimes it is a gift from me for Easter or Mother's Day or a birthday. My mother in law loves gardening too and she is always wonderful about telling me how the plants I've given her are doing!  I love it!  My mom would divide plants which became crowded, dug up tulips for a season and replanted them, trimmed forsythia bushes, roses, and camellias.  Iris were always in our front flower bed for as long as I can remember.  Later they were divided and moved to other spots in the backyard alongside Dad's workshop, we lovingly referred to as "The Shop".  

   Late August of 1999, my mom called me over to the house and told me to bring a "bucket for bulbs".  She wanted me to take some of the bulbs we'd enjoyed for so many years to my house for transplanting.  It was "time to pass down some heritage". 
   
    "Don't you want some iris?  They will multiply in your yard and are hardy." she told me.  "I know you want some of your "little purple hyacinths too," she added.  

    It was this day she and I were on our hands and knees digging in the dirt together which I remember so vividly.  The day I brought daffodil, iris, and hyacinth bulbs to my house on Smith. We left some behind for the new owner.  She would not have minded if I had taken more than I did, but I felt as she did, that leaving some behind would be a nice gesture for the new owner of the house.

     Deciding where to plant them at my house was easy.  I chose the front yard flowerbeds as opposed to the backyard.  I had light purple, white, and yellow Bearded Iris.  Unfortunately,  when I planted them I had no idea what was what.  They bloomed by our driveway for years and multiplied and were absolutely gorgeous every April.  I had to divide them myself on 2 different occasions.  It was no easy task, but worth it.  I gave many away to friends and it is fun to drive up to one of my friend's houses in Fort Mill and see the Lockhart Iris blooming so beautifully in her yard.  I just love it!  

    Maybe it was ingrained in me by my mother to pass on family history or in my case, "take a little bit of heaven and history" with you when you move.  I had divided and transplanted yellow and purple iris all over our flowerbeds on Smith.  In the side yard, in the back---in 2 different places, where ever I could find room, I transplanted them.  The result was that I always had lots of flowers to share.  Growing large amounts of iris was a blessing because I cut bouquets for those years they were so plentiful and brought them to people in skilled nursing, or to my mom, or to my neighbor, or to anyone I thought might could use a little bright spot in their day.


One patch of iris from Smith

   I enjoy giving flowers to others so much, the thoughts of being a florist have crossed my mind.  The smiles on the receiving end of flowers....my goodness.... who wouldn't want a job that brought that kind of joy?

    From the time those Lockhart bulbs bloomed in our yard, I loved bringing my mom some of "her" flowers each spring.  I know she loved receiving them.  I loved the faces of the ladies in the retirement community, during Mom's last years with us, especially Mrs. Leonard and Ms. Willie.  When I brought them bouquets, Ms. Willie at age 102 would just sit in her wheel chair and stare at them and couldn't take her eyes off the blossoms at the dining table.  They would be gone in a week or less, but I knew for that week, she had a little piece of heaven and a little piece of Poston love with her.

I always decided after sharing flowers that I'd always want to grow enough in my yard for me to share.  I still feel that way today.  Since I have started over I have a long way to go!

When our house went on the market 2 years ago I was bound and determined to take flowers with me.  It was going to be tricky,  because I would not be able to plant them right away.  We had to move to a temporary apartment until our new house was built.  That muggy, hot week of August  before we moved, I found myself under the River Birch digging up daffodils and hyacinths.  While I was there, I had our 12 year old son digging up iris.  He was such a help.  Digging up the iris was much easier than digging up the other bulbs.  They grew in shallow soil.  Joseph was a champ and was so very helpful that day!  I was so proud of him.






   All of the iris which didn't dry out in paper bags I planted here at the new house.  Not having much flower bed space at all, and keeping hungry deer in mind, I put them in the front and back, just to get them in the ground in early spring of last year.  I didn't expect them to bloom, but at least they would grow some roots.  I knew I'd have to wait another entire year to see them bloom.

    It has been worth the wait!  They are beautiful this year! 



Subconsciously I planted them on the same exact side of our new house as they were at the old house.  The left front corner flowerbed... actually all I was thinking at the time was "Where do I have space??" and I put them there.  I have no purple iris, even though I dug many up.  They must not have made it and been some of the ones dried out during our transition time of moving.  

Every blooming plant I've seen this year is yellow.  

The Lockhart yellow!

A piece of my mother is in those blooms.  A piece of heaven and a piece of my history too, which I would have regretted leaving on Smith.  I am so happy that this plant has lovingly been spread so many places.  I do not know if they exist on Lockhart anymore.  My guess is probably not.  That's ok.  I've got them with me and they continue to bloom on Smith for our neighbors whom we miss so much.  

My mom would have loved that I can still enjoy them.  I just wish I could cut a bouquet for her!   

We will enlarge our front flowerbeds this year and I've already bought some white and orange Iris to go with the Yellow.  The white and orange ones will be our new history here.  

A mix of old and new..... I like that very much.

It's so much describes my mother's personality.... appreciating the old and well loved, but happy to enjoy a new garden addition!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Memories of the Season

Looking back at the Christmas season of 2014 from the beginning of the December to the New Year..... I'm so grateful for it all.

(I'm posting a bit late..... my apologies.  Many of these photos are all taken with my new camera Mike gave me last year, my Cannon Rebel.  Some are taken with an iPhone 5s.  I've been doing a lot of photo taking, trying and experimenting with the Canon camera trying to learn its features.  It has been one of the most thoughtful gifts my husband has ever given me.  He knows how much I enjoy photography.  I'm such a baby at this, but one day I hope I'm not.)

Happy New Year!
Judith


We started out December with a birthday..... Joseph is 14.
How did that ever happen?  I'm still wrapping my mind around the fact that my son is now taller than Mike and I.  Even though he was sick on his birthday, a slice of red velvet cake seemed to be just what the doctor ordered and he was all smiles!





Christmas lights at sunset




Enjoying the Christmas season at Myers Park


Going to see the Carolina Panthers play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 



Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens


Orchid Christmas tree ~ Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens


Advent devotions


Christmas breakfast with Nonno



A Christmas kiss for Mom





Christmas lunch preparations





A bike ride Christmas day






Happy New Year!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Remember the Laughter

August 1st is my Dad's birthday.  He would have been 82 this year.   In my eyes, this is his 2nd birthday in heaven.  I know he continues to do what he always did on earth….smile, laugh and yes probably joke!  I believe Jesus has a sense of humor.  I have to consider that Dad and Jesus may have had a few good jokes together or shared a lot of laughter in the past year.  Something tells me this is highly likely and probable.  Jesus is the one who created that jovial, smiling,  fun spirit in Dad.  If He created it, and it is eternal, why wouldn't it continue in the next life which is our forever home?



There was no one like my dad.  There are a million things I miss about him and it is just easier to say that I miss every single thing about him.   No one ever loved me like he did and no one will ever love me in that way again.  It is a hard pill to swallow even over a year after his passing.  I count it as something intricately special to my life to have had someone love me and show me how to love others as well as he did.  








That joking though….. oh my goodness.  We used to laugh so!  I don't think there has ever been someone in my life who joked and laughed with me like Dad did.  This banter back and forth we used to share.  He loved to see our reactions to his antics and yes the antics were frequent and made Mom smile and shake her head.  "What is your father up to?"  or simply a…"JOE!"  Mom's reaction to his playfulness made us laugh more.  He loved the attention and he loved to hear us laugh most of all.


Trying to distract Mom by gently blowing her direction instead of letting her blow out her candles!  


Dad why isn't the hose attached???

He loved playing with Joseph and Philip

So many happy birthday moments!

Mom…. his beautiful bride and love of his life!

Love that hat Dad!

And MY FAVORITE….  "The Handy man creed-  'If I can't fix it, it ain't broken!"  Yes, I found this shirt at Cracker Barrel and thought of him.  It was his 76th birthday.  Dad, the handy man who loved tools, wood working and any thing home improvement.


The silly things we used to do:  putting the sock monkey stuffed animal in the dining room chair for him to find at dinner or under the covers at his pillow at night.  Little messages on things.  The pretend "stone, hard, stale biscuits" scenario (take your home made biscuit and pretend to tap it on your plate while you are taking your knife under the table and tapping it on the underside of the table to make the sound effect)   This was a joke he played on Mom a long time ago.  Funny hand made cards with speech balloons attached to printed  photos we cut out and put on the card to make him smile.  He took everything in stride and never took anything personally.  He made sure with his joking that no one else did either.  His jokes were clean, sometimes corny, but very entertaining.  He often times joked about his "lack of hair" and getting it wet in the rain.  He and his dentist exchanged  funny birthday cards to each other for years and his dentist told me how much he missed that after Dad passed away.  It was something to which he always looked forward.

 It was the gifts of making others smile, his actual smile, his ability to help people see they were valued and loved even in the midst of a funny "break the ice" remark which made him unforgettable.  I can't think of how many grocery store clerks he would be kind to or joke with on a regular basis.  If you were having a bad day and you ran into Dad, he would make your bad day more manageable by helping you to forget your worries if only for a few minutes.  Even in the nursing home with Alzheimer's disease at its worst, he would smile, laugh, and joke around with the staff.  He was always so grateful for everything they did for him.  They loved his fun loving personality and several told me they already missed his jokes the day after he died.

Our personalities do matter to God.  He created our spirits to be unique and to shine a part of who He is.  The Lord allowed Dad to keep those parts of himself which reflected who he was the most,  even when Alzheimer's had stolen so much of his life away.  That love.  That gratitude for others and what they did for him.   That fun loving spirit.  Those were things Alzheimer's could never take away in him.





So August 1st was always such a happy day!  It was fun to celebrate my dad.  It was fun to joke with him about his age, flipping the numbers to make him younger…..  "I'm 62, no that would be 26 thanks very much."  44, 55, 66, and 77 were not years this worked and we let him know it.  I think in my Dad's heart he was always youthful.  He lived his life this way with a vivacity and love of the gift of life God gave him.  He saw life as a gift.  He saw us as a gift.  He saw his faith as a gift.  I do know one thing…. he never ever wanted to grow old.  


 He aged gracefully by always staying active and in physically good shape.  When he did grow old, he'd refer to himself as "your old dad"…. but to me he wasn't old in spirit even if Alzheimer's made him physically look 10 years older than he was.  He was always my Papa Bear….funny, loving, encouraging, strong, full of life, happy, and spirited.

He was my hero dad.



I miss him so.  There is a huge void in my life which can never be replaced.  Life just isn't the same without him there on a regular basis.   I remember the laughter we used to share and all of those birthdays seeing his face light up and a hearty chuckle from my hand made corny, silly cards…..  He loved them.  He just loved being with all of us.  Mom, Tom, the boys and Mike and I.  He loved his friends too; they were a special part of his life.

I can't wait to get in on the joking and laughter in heaven.  I know Daddy's spirit is not dead.  He lives forever more and is waiting for us to join him so we can experience his joy, laughter, and love of eternal life with the one who created that very spirit in us!

I love you Daddy!  Happy Birthday!  
Love,
Your little girl


This is a video tribute of Dad I made and set to music.  


The photos span his lifetime from childhood to the last photo we had with him as a family in early March 2013.  The music I selected reflects his musical tastes.  He loved piano music.  "Beach Spring" is a famous American folk tune I love.  "Someone to Watch Over Me" is exactly what he was to all of us…..he was that father who was always there.  "Make Someone Happy" is what he did all of his life and when Alzheimer's came it is what we tried to do for him.  We tried to bring joy to him every chance we could.  The last song, "Smile" conveys what he did those last years with Alzheimer's disease.  "Smile, though your heart is breaking…. smile and the sun will come shining through for you…."  It is what he continued to do battling the loss of his memories and life as he once knew it.  It is what we all strived to do and did when we were with him though our hearts were breaking watching his decline.  It defines his courage and strength.  

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

We're Always Better Together

The "Better Together Celebration" of the YMCA of Greater Charlotte is fast approaching.  I am so excited!  It will be an evening where the Y's greatest volunteers are celebrated and cherished, where reflection of the past year's big and little successes are honored.  All of them, even the tiniest accomplishment in the name of Christ matters.  It is an evening where you leave with your heart so full you'll think it will burst.  Last year I had tears, smiles and laughter all at the same time.
     
   March of 2013 was my first time being invited to the event.  I had no idea what to expect.  I was excited to go and was able to sit with Mike and our dear friends who are heavily involved with one of the YMCA branches.  I met new people and was hugged by more than one who had been working with us on Dad's Scholarship Program in Aquatics.  Even in a sea of people I felt like there was this joy there that flowed out of the people who were there.

 I loved the YMCA stories I heard that night.  One told of the special needs sports teams created at certain Y branches and what the volunteers and kids had accomplished that year.  Then the aquatics story: a gentleman who decided in his mid 80's that it was never too late to try to improve his health and learned how to swim at his community Y, his daughter cheering him on each week.  Eventually, "Mayor Bill" was swimming a mile a day with a snorkel and hand paddles at his community YMCA.
      
See his Y Story here on you tube.  Bill Heller's Y STORY- "Believe in Health and Well Being"  It is a great testimony!

 There were so many stories and so many people honored for special reasons.  The outreach to the community was just incredible and I had fresh eyes to see exactly what the YMCA of Greater Charlotte does in the name of Christ.  It was like I had stepped into this world through my father, which I had not fully understood before or seen with my own eyes.  Obviously my dad believed in what the YMCA stood for.  He wouldn't have made it a part of his life for 4 decades otherwise.   

YMCA Mission:  "To put Christian principles into practice through programs that build healthy spirit, mind and body for all."  

Through this celebration and other experiences at the Y over those prior 3 months, I saw over and over again that my city's YMCA was living the mission statement and it was their focus.  I would have never seen things on the inside if it had not been for my dad.  I was so honored to be a part of this celebration.  I felt like I was saving a seat for him when I sat in the theater.  I was sitting next to Mike, but I declare my dad was taking a seat in my heart all night.  He would have deeply appreciated this celebration and knowing him he would have been in his "element" of being around other people.  He loved people.  

      I left the theater with a warmth and  joy in my heart that did not go away.  It was there to stay.  The YMCA of Greater Charlotte had made a deeper impact on me in that 90 minutes.  It solidified even more my positive experiences with the Y.  

"Gosh Daddy, I just wish you could be here!!"   



It is quite bittersweet this year as I receive the invitation in the mail.   I'm so excited and want March 17 to be tomorrow.  The timing of the celebration is what makes it a happy and hard moment at the same time.  




The day after the 2013 celebration my dad had a mini stroke and we put him on Hospice Care.  It was a scary day in so many ways.  Alzheimer's Disease was becoming so advanced for him and exactly one week from the Better Together Celebration my hero stepped off the cliff of the most advanced stage of Alzheimer's disease into the arms of his Heavenly Father.  "That's enough Joe…. it's time to come home."  When my daddy could no longer smile, laugh or be that bright shining light for all to see,  I think his mission in life was fulfilled on earth.  

This year I won't have the same perspective as I sit next to Mike in Knight's Theatre.  I know Dad is smiling again.  He isn't suffering anymore with the cruelty of a disease that stole his life.

I'll still be saving a seat for him on March 17th.  He'll be sitting with me in my heart. I'll be reminded of his love for me, his love of his family, his love of his God and for a community where he lived all of his life.  



The YMCA was a cherished place for him and as his scholarship program in aquatics takes off for children to receive free swim lessons in our city,  my brother and I are there to see it through and be the cheerleaders.  







You can do it!         I believe in you!       Way to go!     That's good!    Come on!  Come on!  Kick!  Kick!     That's it! Keep going!    Come on now, you can do it!    Move those arms!
Breathe!  Breathe!    Keep coming!  Keep coming!     Do you see where you are?  You made it to the 9 ft end!     Fantastic!   You did it!   ~ Joe

"Better together"….. Dad would agree with that.  We are meant to be in community.  We are to love our neighbor as ourselves, care about our communities and champion those who need a cheerleader and encourager in their corner.  It's up to us.  It's our choice.  To serve or not to serve.  I'm so glad my Dad loved to serve other people. He was such a great example of the person I always hoped I grow up to be!!


"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.  But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."   Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"You shall love the LORD your God with all of your heart, and with all of your soul, with all of your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself."  ~ Jesus
Luke 10:27