Fingerprints of Love from My Grandmother

If there is one time of year when I think of my Grandmother the most, it is the Christmas season.

Christmas 1993

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year because of the happy memories I started out with as a child which continued each and every year.  I enjoyed the traditions we had, but most of all I enjoyed the time we spent with our family.

Tom and Grandmama 1993

Every Christmas morning my dad would call his mother in law, and wish her a Merry Christmas.  It was just something he did.
"Merry Christmas Mom Jerman!"  I loved watching him on the phone.  He'd call to find out what time he could come pick her up and bring her to our house for Christmas day.  She only lived about 3 miles away.  Sometimes I got to go with him, which was always neat.  

My grandmother had a special way of making the holidays meaningful.  Besides just her presence, laughter, and smiles, she made things by hand for us.  They were all over her apartment and she gave many to us and also would sell items at her church during their craft bazaars.  She was so talented with a needle and thread.  She could take just common things and make beautiful things out of them.  

I have santas, snowflakes, Christmas ornaments and more all hand made with love.  They are all over my tree.

I love putting out her snowflakes under the mantle and leaving them through January after I take the Christmas decorations down.
I plan on doing that this year too and leaving my white lights up the month of January.

Today 19 years ago Grandmama went to be with her Lord.  Two days after Christmas.... I think that is why I was a bit sad today out of the blue.  It then dawned on me, "Oh yes, today is December 27th..."  My mom didn't get to see her mother on her last Christmas celebration.  Mom was sick with a bad cold and didn't want to bring any germs to the nursing home or to Grandmama.  So we all went to celebrate with Grandmama....Dad, Tom, Willie Mae, Bob, Jenny, Barbara and Chase.  We had a room full!  It was wonderful!  We were missing Mom though. 

This Christmas season, Grandmama has her little girl again by her side!  

Their first Christmas together in 19 years and they get to spend it in the Lord's presence!  I just have this feeling they are singing.... As much as my mom LOVED to sing and as long as she was in the choir, she must be singing with her mother!

This year I went through Mom's Christmas decorations in boxes.  She had so many of Grandmama's snowflakes.  She also had this one ornament.....

"Ethel.... Love, Mother"  
So precious.  I had to put it on our tree this year.  I will continue to do so. 
Grandmama had taken a Christmas card, cut it out in the shape of a circle, punched holes in it perfectly, and crocheted red thread around the edges.  What a pretty idea!

I actually have one too.... I leave it out all year.  It is on the old fashioned key which goes to her wardrobe closet which is in our bedroom.  

She wrote a note to me too....

Oh the Christmases we had together all of us!  Lunch at our house, Mom usually made turkey and lots of sides.  I'd help her set the table with the fine china.  She let me put the side dishes on the table too and put the pretty napkins out.  After lunch we enjoyed just catching up and relaxing a bit, listening to Christmas music Dad always had going.  Late in the afternoon  we would head off to my Aunt Jenny's house across town to spend time with her and her family.  Going to Jenny's house was always one of my very favorite things to do!  Spending time with my aunts, uncles and cousin Barbara was so special.  

I will always remember Aunt Jenny's blue kitchen and all of the wonderful smells that came from it those Christmas nights.  Willie Mae's macaroni and cheese and lemon pound cake!  Yum!  Everything my aunts and mom made was so delicious! I loved seeing Jenny's house all decorated.  She had a big house.  It was a fun place to explore as a child!  Ha ha ha!  My boys are the same way today!

I loved seeing Grandmama love on everyone.  I loved the tight squeeze hug my Uncle Bob always gave me.  I miss those.  No one hugged like he did.  Three sisters smiling and laughing all together....  I liked them being all together.  

  

I loved it all.  

I think what made it so special each year was how loved everyone made me feel.  How gracious and loving everyone was toward one another too.  There was always such kindness in my Mom's family.

Celebrating Jesus' birthday with us all together. It was to me the BEST day of the year!

Later that evening we took Grandmama home.  Sometimes I went inside the apartment too.  I liked her Christmas tree.  It was so different than ours.  Always a Cedar tree cut down fresh out in the country by her neighbor Wilma's son.  He brought one to his mom and to Grandmama too.   He set it up for her.  It was never a tall tree.  Usually about 5 feet.  She had the big, glass, old fashioned Christmas lights on it.  As a child I could stare at it for hours.  I loved her little tree.  Her apartment was always so warm and inviting at Christmastime.

Then we would give hugs and kisses and head home.  Sigh.... that was the sad part.  I never wanted Christmas to end.

To remember her today, I'm posting a little picture of Tom's first Christmas.  Grandmama is holding him and she is smiling!  I'm not sure where this was taken, but it must be her apartment.  There is a Cedar tree, just like the ones she used to have.  

I can't help but think if she loved us grandkids so much how much she would love her great grands....Joseph and Philip.  I think she might just love them to the moon and back!

I love her to the moon and back too.  

Today she would be 104.   So thankful to have had her in my life for those 27 years.  

Merry Christmas Mom and Grandmama.  

I'm so glad that even if I can't see you right now, that you are together.   

Mom and I in 2010

Merry Christmas Daddy.... I love you.

Christmas 2012 at the Retirement Community with Dad.

Merry Christmas Daddy.... I love you.

He had a good day.  He loved being with all of us.

All smiles once again, which of course made me smile.

My one Christmas wish could not come true this year.....I do miss my mother so much,  but my BIG Christmas prayer was answered.

My Daddy is still in my life and we had another Christmas together.

I could hug him and kiss his cheek and look into his beautiful, blue eyes,  hear him tell me he loves me one more time and I KNOW he knows I'm his daughter and we are his family.

What a Christmas blessing!

Here is a video of the Trans- Siberian Orchestra performing a Christmas version of Pachelbel's Canon with a children's choir.  Pachelbel's Christmas Canon with Children's Choir    Pachelbel's Canon is one of Dad's favorite classical pieces.  I hear this Christmas version and think of him because he loved hearing children's choirs too.  Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Merry Christmas!

He is born!

My favorite part of the wee hours of Christmas morning is staying up until midnight and putting the Baby Jesus doll into our manger on the fire place.

The manger was made by my dad for one of my large dolls.  I was about 5 years old when he made it and I remember it being in my room for many years.

The crown represents Jesus as Lord of Lords and King of Kings!

The little angel was one of my Christmas ornaments as a very small child.  Mom and Dad used to always put that at the top of our Christmas tree.  This tree has been passed down to Mike and I.

This year I put Grandmama's crocheted angel on top of our tree and I put the little porcelain angel in the manger on Christmas Eve.

What a beautiful gift the Christ child is to us!

Thank you Jesus for becoming poor for us so you could make us rich with eternal life.

Merry Christmas Moma..... I know you are enjoying that life abundant with Jesus on this Christmas Day!  I'm going to give Dad a hug and kiss from you.  I know you'd want me to do that for you.

To all of our loved ones near and far..... Merry Merry Christmas!

Love,
Judith and Family

BEST day of the Year! The Dream is Alive Part 2

Dean, Judith, Tom and Laura

December 20, 2012
Wow.... I am so humbled today.  This has been the BEST day ever!

I can't really tell you how special this is to watch something like this unfold.

To think that 7 months ago I mentioned a dream I had about doing something special to honor Dad and his lifetime service to the YMCA, to Land Hite, our dear family friend and CFP. I don't know what I would have done without this man in my life the past 2 years as related to Mom and Dad.  He has been one of the biggest blessings in my life during my stewardship of my parents' affairs on all levels.  Just knowing he is there is huge to us.  He's always there to help, give advice, encourage and pray for us.  I tell him all the time, "Land Hite, you are something else!"  And he is....  As related to this story, Land is heavily involved at the Harris Branch YMCA and is on the board there.  He loved my idea and helped me to brain storm how to go about getting this dream off the ground for Dad.  Before I knew it, I was put in touch with Dean Jones and today the dream was put in motion.  It is absolutely incredible.

Land and I

To be a part of something this big, I'm just speechless and yet I want to tell the entire world I'm so excited about how this could positively impact lives of the future.  What I do know is that Dad would love what is going to happen and we are praying that he will get to see a glimpse of what his gift is doing to help young swimmers before his illness becomes too dark.  Tom and I WANT more than anything for him to see the fruit of this.  He would be thrilled beyond measure.  We both know it.

To hear the dreams around the conference table today of the people who work at the YMCA of Greater Charlotte and know the needs in aquatics was amazing.  There are so many needs for Stratford Richardson on West Blvd.  It is a gorgeous facility.  The needs of the people whom it serves are HUGE.  We have heard how big over the past 2 weeks.

The Stratford Richardson YMCA

Dreams recounted by Laura the Aquatics Director for all of the Charlotte branch YMCAs were so touching.  Her dreams are so big, she says they are in "Laura Land" but Tom said, "That seems like a great place and I like Laura Land."  I do too.  Having dreams is what it is all about!   We got to hear Dean Jones, Senior Vice President of Financial Development talk about his dreams and reiterate how touched he was by Dad's story and what we want to do to honor Dad.  Then of course Anthony Grillo, YCommunity Financial Development Director, shares his heart like he does so very well and you see how much the minority kids and their families in the western corridor of our city mean to him. He has such a big heart for the Charlotte community and it is contagious.

Mike was talking with me this afternoon when I got home from my meeting at the Dowd.  I was in tears in the car driving home in the rain and traffic, at the thought of the potential this has and where it could go and how very personal it has become for our family.  I am in awe about how God is taking this and allowing it to happen for his sake.  It is not just about Dad.  It is much bigger than that I'm seeing. Mike told me he was proud of me and what I was doing for Dad.  He said, "This is going to have a really big impact."  I have a feeling he is really right about that.

So, you have to start somewhere.  This is what I'm seeing.  The Stratford Richardson YMCA is in its infancy in program development.  Years down the road are dreams which are in the making now.  It will take awhile to get there Anthony tells us.  The potential for growth is huge.  It's like a diamond in the rough.  There were empty fields with trees Anthony showed us two weeks ago.  He didn't see fields, he saw a community facility for children where the Y could partner with the community more.  He saw flag football and soccer games on new fields and a track and more.  The dream is alive and well at Stratford Richardson.

Our focus is aquatics because that was Dad's love and where he made such a big impact for those 45 years as a swim instructor.  So much of what we will do will be in the aquatics realm at the Stratford Richardson and Dowd YMCA's.  Laura told us about how many life vests they have at Stratford Richarson and how many kids get in the water wearing those vests because it is a requirement for non proficient swimmers.  She said that you just see their little heads bobbing up and down and it is so sad because you know they don't know how to swim and you want to help so badly with that.  I'd love to see more vests hang on those pegs because kids have learned how to be proficient swimmers.  We need to get these kids swimming so they are safe in the water.

The Reid Park Elementary Connection

There is an uncanny connection which just floors me quite frankly.  I'd never imagine my life would come full circle like this on such a personal level, but it has!  This dream could connect me AND my dad to a place where I loved teaching.  A place that brought me so much joy in my career in teaching.   Of ALL the schools in Charlotte Mecklenburg which connect to Stratford Richardson, it is this one.....  Reid Park Elementary where I taught for 5 years as a French teacher.  Reid Park partners with the Stratford Richardson YMCA with its Y READERS program during the summer.  They take Reid Park K-2 students and give them literacy lessons at the YMCA during the summer months.  It is a partnership which is working and kids are improving their reading skills by leaps and bounds.  Anthony is passionate about the YReaders program.  He feels like if you can get a child to read on grade level by 3rd grade, you have actually helped the child to achieve much more than that down the road in his or her life.  After teaching at Reid Park for the years I did,  I am fully aware of the needs.  They have not changed in 13 years.

This connection with Reid Park was discussed today in regards to Aquatics.

Possible DREAM #1

Start a Swim Academy at Reid Park where all 2nd graders (over 70 children) would come to the Stratford Richardson Y for swim lessons during the school year.  A program just like this with Sterling Elementary and the Harris YMCA has been a huge success this past year. All of Sterling's 2nd graders learned to swim! Sterling and Harris would be the model for Reid Park and Stratford Richardson.  

A swim academy started by my DAD!  Oh. my. heavens.  I am so excited at the possibility of this!  And at Reid Park!  Do you see how personal this is becoming?  My daddy would LOVE this so much!  He loves children and would be thrilled so many will learn to swim because of his big heart.  

When I told Dean Jones and Anthony Grillo two weeks ago that I worked at Reid Park for 5 years their mouths just dropped.  They couldn't believe it.  I couldn't believe what they were telling me either about the Y's connections.  It is one small world.....

The other ideas out there are connect the swim lessons for Reid Park Students with the YREADERS program during the summer months.  Have the kids do literacy in the morning and learn to swim in the afternoon after lunch.  Or possibly have their after school program children at Stratford Richardson walk 15 steps to the pool in the afternoons for swim lessons.

There will be lots to consider, but the ball is rolling and things will get off the ground in 2013.  They were ALL so very excited about this fact today.   These wonderful people at the YMCA keep telling me what a big impact what we are doing will make over the next five years.

 When I heard this statistic I knew what we were doing was important.

The Centers for Disease Control say that Drowning is

the #2 cause of accidental death in children.

That is sobering.  Let's give them the life skills now to be proficient swimmers.  Let's teach the parents too, so it is a family affair.  Let's get these families to the YMCA so they can see for themselves what a great place it is and perhaps just perhaps a parent or two or three might want to begin exercising for the first time in their lives and get on the road to being more healthy.  Perhaps just maybe the love of swimming will be sparked in some child's heart and he will continue with swimming like people do with other sports... for the love of what it is.  Maybe minorities will become proficient swimmers so that they can in return give back and want to become life guards or swim instructors themselves in their community in West Charlotte.

Laura's dream was to see minority swim instructors and life guards one day giving back to the community.  How many minority life guards do you see?  Not many. How many swim instructors?  Probably even fewer.  Anthony talked about a swim team with Stratford Richardson one year down the road.  The potential is there, but the Stratford YMCA program development isn't at that point yet.  Dad is just starting a ball to roll in aquatics there with a possible swim academy.  Then I'm just praying others will see all the great things that are taking place and it will spark someone else's heart to give generously to what Dad has started.  His gift will not last forever, five years is a good amount of time to get something established.  I'm hoping it is the start of something which will continue to grow in its impacting of future swimmers and will be perpetuated by others who want to give to the YMCA.  You just never know what will happen! That's the exciting part!  How many lives will this save?  How many kids will not be one of those terrible statistics because they learned the life skill of swimming?

Dad you would be so thrilled with the details.

The last idea Laura shared with us was to have an award given out at the YMCA each year for Excellence in Swim Instruction.  This award would be to honor Dad and would have his name on the award.  This could continue for years and years to come.  My dad was always conscientious about recognizing a job well done.  If he was pleased with service, he told the manager.  If an employee at a business did something exceptional he went out of his way to acknowledge that job well done to the person's supervisor.  He wrote letters to superiors complimenting excellence.  It was something he was passionate about. I watched him do it.  This is the PERFECT way to honor him if you are talking about an award given to Y swim instructors.  I am SO happy about this possibility!  We'll see what happens!  

I don't know where God will take all of this.  There are lots of dreams and ideas.  I just know I gave it all to Him today.  Lord may your will be done!   I'm just so INCREDIBLY humbled and excited!

This is a thank you letter Laura shared with us after one of the 2nd graders from Sterling Elementary had learned to swim at the Harris YMCA.

Let's see how many more kids we can reach!

Will keep you posted as this unfolds and we find out where the YMCA wants to start.
Truly this is amazing.

"DAD's DAY at the DOWD" is in the planning stages.
As Tom says so well, "This is one of your own, YMCA!"  Yes, one of YMCA's "own" is returning....
We're getting Dad back to the Dowd one more time.

Dean Jones is so excited about this.  He hasn't even met Dad before but can't wait to, he's heard so much about him.   I get teary eyed just thinking about my Dad "seeing" that pool he loved being at so much.  What will Dad remember when he steps onto the pool floor at the DOWD (Central) YMCA where he taught for 4 decades?  What will the smell of chlorine do for him with his dementia?  What happy memories will come alive for him one more time and make him smile?   I will need a Kleenex box of my own.  The boys will be there with us and will swim for him.  Mike will be there.  Laura, Dean and Anthony will be there.  No one wants to miss it!

More to come on that!  It's going to be something else!

The Dream is Alive

The slate is blank, the dream is big.....

Tomorrow the dream goes into motion and we then step back and watch as the future unfolds....

I've never been so excited in all my life to do something on behalf of my father.
It will be part of his legacy of 45 years of service to the YMCA.

Tomorrow Tom and I dream big with some great people at the YMCA of Greater Charlotte.  All for Dad, because he was always the great example of what caring about and believing in others meant.  He is leaving a legacy of love.  Tomorrow is for you, Dad.  I only wish Mom could have lived to see this day.

Can't wait to see what God has in store for the the kids of the future in aquatics at the YMCA.

To God be the glory!

A song which describes how my Dad has always lived his life and how I want to live mine.....  I'm so thankful for his example and that he showed me and taught me how to love.  What a gift of a father he has always been to me.
I want my life, to be like Dad's (and my mother's) where LOVE counts for everything and is the song of my life, the air I breathe, the standard by which I live and what people remember the most.  That is a legacy that will count for the future.

Mikey.... I Love You Precious

There is just too much sadness and loss this year.

We have just experienced another family loss.  This time a beloved cat, Mikey.

He died just yesterday of kidney failure.  He was 12 years old.

It's so hard to lose an animal you love.  Mikey was not my cat.  He belonged to my husband's step dad and his mom.  We saw him all the time though and he was part of the family.

This situation reminds me so much of when we lost our Sammie in 2006 to the same type of disease of kidney failure.   She was our baby before kids.  We had her for over 15 years.  She was 16 and a half when she died.  OH, did I cry buckets at that time.....  She was an incredible friend.

A pet becomes such a special part of your life.  You love the funny crazy things they do.  You love their personalities and antics.  You cannot replace the love they show you.  Cats just know when you are hurting.  I had Mr. Piccolo our current lovable one of 6 years sit in my lap I don't know how many times yesterday when I was sad thinking of Mikey.  He just knew I was sad and wanted to comfort me.  Sammie used to do the same thing.  Sammie would even lick my tears away.

Mikey was not just a pet cat.  He was SO much more than that......
Let me explain why Mikey was so special.

Mikey was a gift from above sent in God's perfect timing to Joe, Mike's step dad after Joe's son passed away at age 27.  Such brokenness and devastation when losing a child.....  Joe was completely heartbroken to lose his son.  It was an immense time of sadness for him.

One day this cat (Mikey) just appeared at Grace and Joe's house.  The cat just showed up and took to Joe.  Joe didn't especially like cats up to this point.  This cat was different.  He was friendly and started to follow Joe everywhere.  He and Grace started feeding him and he stayed.  (There were other details about him that we'd learn later which told more of his story where he came from which were very interesting.  Regardless of where he came from, what mattered was that he appeared just at the perfect time, during a difficult time.)

Joe had never had a cat take to him or love him unconditionally like that before.  It touched him.  So much so that he named the cat "Mikey" after his son, Michael.  Mikey brought comfort and put some joy back into Joe's days at that time in his life.  Mikey was a little gift from God that turned out to be one HUGE gift for seven years.  Mikey was about 5 years old when he started visiting Grace and Joe on a regular basis.

God sends us little furry packages to comfort us in addition to people.  Sometimes pets can comfort in ways that people cannot.  Animals tend to just love us, no strings attached.  They don't talk back nor do they offer opinions or words that hurt your feelings.  They are great at just "being there" for you when you are grieving or mourning a loss.  They take your mind off of your sadness and when you are sad they are there to love you.

Mikey brought us so much joy, but I know he brought Joe the most joy of all.

Joe and Grace

Grace loved Mikey so much too.  We all did.  We shared stories of Mikey on Wednesday night.  The boys and I went over to see Mikey and say "goodbye".  He was pitiful.  So much like my Sammie was in 2006 when she was so sick.   He had not been eating or drinking, could barely open his eyes and was walking with lots of trouble.  It was so sad.  They boys got to talk to him, pet him and love on him.
"I love you precious....." I told him.  And I do.  I always will.  Mikey was just special.

I've loved three cats like family in my life.
Sammie

Our current cat Piccolo

And Mikey......

Joseph our oldest son and Mikey receiving his Thanksgiving Day hug.

I know Grace and Joe are going to miss having Mikey in their lives everyday.
Oh the stories we have of him which make us laugh..... we will always have those.
My favorite is the day we saw him hunting and he leaped way up in the air to pounce and completely disappeared in the monkey grass in the backyard.  That was some TALL monkey grass!  We still don't know what he was hunting but Grace and I laughed and laughed and we laughed about it again this week.

He was a hunter.
He was all about the GREAT adventures of the BIG outdoors
He loved basking in the sun and sleeping in the leaf compost pile.
He was a super friendly and would come when you called him.
He was a great friend and companion.
He loved his family the most.
He was the KING of the house.
He loved his own kitty house Joe custom made for him outside, complete with light, heating pad and soft blanket to sleep on.  Yes, he used it all the time in the winter months.
Given the opportunity to sit in a lap, he always took it.
He loved to nap with Grace and loved her multitude of soft blankets.
He loved our attention.
He loved eating tuna and ice cream bars with Joe.
He was the best!

Oh Mikey.... I love you precious.  You're on God's big coverlet on His bed with Sammie, Princess, Pepper and Asia.  Try not to hog the covers too much, do you hear?  I know you like the covers soft and deep.  Thanks for being my friend.  I'm going to miss you, you know.

What I Want For Christmas

A friend of mine the other night kind of jokingly asked me and some other friends what our Christmas wish was.  Many kind of laughed but inside I was thinking, "That is a loaded question for me.  All I want for Christmas is just another Christmas with my Mom, a healthy Mom that is."  I didn't say anything out loud, I didn't want to hurt his feelings.  It was not a question intended to make anyone feel badly.   

That is such a loaded question for so many people this Christmas and I cannot help but think of these people.  Some are dear friends, some are people I don't even know.  What I do know is that all of us have lost someone so special to us that it is next to impossible for some of us to think about the future without this person in our lives.

Last night I bawled before I went to bed.  The thought of the grieving Connecticut families was about more than I could bear.  Why Lord, oh why?  This makes no sense to me nor anyone else.  Why on earth....? So many questions.  So much a mystery.  

I know you are crying Lord.  I know you are.  You cried when Lazarus died.  He was your great friend.  I know how much children mean to you.  I know you have to be completely weeping over this, Lord.  I just know it.  I feel it.  Your heart is broken tonight by someone's insanely, evil choice.  I know you can't go against your character or how you created us.  You gave us free will, with that is our choice to do evil and not choose you.... I know you weep at the horrid decisions we make.  I also know you are just.  Oh Lord, please help all of these families whose hearts have been absolutely crushed by yesterday's tragedy.

Then I found myself talking to my Mom.... and the tears started to flow harder.  "Did you see them Mom?  Did you see the little ones come into heaven yesterday morning?"  Somehow I think she must have.

Death changes everything for a family.  The death of my mother forever changed mine.  I have never in my life been more attuned to heaven than I am now.   I have been given a new perspective on life here because she is there.  

Her death has caused me to be more in tune with those that are
hurting.  It's almost like a radar now.... someone loses a loved one
and I hurt too.  It has given me a better understanding of those who are mourning and hurting.  I am thankful for that, because before I
could only pretend to understand what others are going through.  

What do I want for Christmas?
I want Christians to love more like Christ did when he was on this earth.
I want us to be less apathetic and a more empathetic and compassionate people.
I want people to start caring more about people in society and their communities and thinking less about what they are "entitled to" by the society they live in.
I want people to start loving their families like it is the last day they will ever see them again.  
I want people to say what they mean and mean what they say and then act on what they say they will do.
I want our society to start valuing life like Christ does.  It is a gift.
I want people to understand that God is the creator of family and he values our families.
And I want others who are hurting to know that no matter what they are going through, that God loves them and has not abandoned them.  He cries with them and feels their pain.  He is there to walk through the valley of the shadow of death with them.

Those are just a few things I want for Christmas....

And the last thing I would wish for America this Christmas in light of what happened yesterday..... 
....that we not lose HOPE in all of the chaos of evil around us at times.  This is my prayer.  Love is still here.  Hope is not gone.  The Holy Spirit is with us!  It's up to us to be the hands and feet of Christ though moving forward. Situations do not solve themselves, they always call for action.  It's up to us to not sit on the sidelines but to live out our faith however God calls us.

....for the sake of the broken hearted
....for the sake of the weak
....for the sake of sick
....for the sake of those who need our protection
....for the sake of those who cannot help themselves
mostly importantly for Christ's sake because this is what he calls us to do..... to love him with all of our hearts and to love our neighbors as ourselves.