Bless the Lord Oh My Soul!

Matt Redmond's song, "10,000 Reasons" is so appropriate for life's circumstances for my family right now, especially when I think of my mother and her daily health struggles with diabetes and cancer.  It makes me so sad yet I know in the midst no matter what, God is with us....forever and a day.

It's hard to sing when you struggle just to get words out because your heart is so full.  It's hard to sing when you are struggling with physical pain as well dealing with a health issue.

 So, with God's help, I'm going to keep singing, because my heart longs to.  This song is exactly how I feel this evening.  Mike was playing it on his laptop and I fell in love with the song.  The piano strikes a chord in this heart of mine....

I'm singing for Mom and I....for the two of us.

Bless the Lord oh my soul,
Oh my soul,
Worship His holy name!
Sing like never before,
Oh my soul,
Worship Your holy name!

The sun comes up it's a new day dawning,
It's time to sing your song again,
Whatever may pass, whatever lies before me,
Let me be singing when the evening comes.

Bless the Lord oh my soul,
Oh my soul,
Worship His holy name!
Sing like never before,
Oh my soul,
Worship Your holy name! 

Your rich in love and You're slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind,
For all your goodness I will keep on singing,
10,000 reasons for my heart to find.

Bless the Lord oh my soul,
Oh my soul,
Worship His holy name!
Sing like never before,
Oh my soul,
Worship Your holy name! 

And on that day when my strength is failing,
The end draws near and my time has come,
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending,
10,000 years and then forever more!

The Many Hands and Feet

Tuesday.... June 5th 2012
We met with the Hospice team and doctor today concerning Mom's health.  They are an awesome, wonderful group of people.  I'm so grateful they are in my mother's life at this point.  All of them will be an extra watchful eye for her at this time of cancer.  

There is the doctor, the nurse who sees Mom twice a week, and the social worker.  They are the new hands and feet to her right now.

My Mom and Dad have been at this retirement community for over 2 years now.  I have watched in that two years my daddy lose more and more of his memory and ability to function on his own.  I have watched my mother arrive weak and on Hospice care, to then bounce back, be taken off Hospice care and remain stable with her memory, diabetes, and the Non Hodgkins in remission.   Now my daddy remains stable, even with his memory fading and ability to function declining faster than any of us want it to, while my Mom's health is truly failing.  Amazing how this works, back and forth for each of them. 

When it matters most,  one of them can always minister to the other.  My daddy walked faithfully over to see Mom practically every single day it was good weather, when he lived in assisted living in 2010-2011.  When he moved to the Memory Care Building, the golf cart transports started and they have not stopped except during the time of a difficult back issue.  At that point, Mom was well enough to go see him at his building.  We'd take her in her wheel chair across the long parking lot to see Dad.  Tom and I would take turns back and forth.  Tom did this a lot for Mom.  

For my folks, it's not so much "doing" for one another as it is "being there" for one another.  Just that physical presence and loving words or a special kiss.  That's what means the most.

My Moma can't make that trek to Memory Care anymore, but Dad is stable and doing well enough to continue to ride the golf cart transport over to see Mom 4 days a week.  

Sweet Azieb helping my daddy.

Don't you love this ride!  He told his companion, that brings him that "he" wanted to drive!  Of course he does!!  But, my dad cannot get over to see his bride by himself.  It requires the hands and feet of other people....a companion and a driver.

There are many hands and feet today.  There have been many hands for awhile now.  Where it used to just be my Daddy, Tom and I; that changed over 3 years ago.  First it was their church family and Sunday School class that brought them meals two times a week for a solid year, when Mom was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins a second time, while she and Dad were living independently.  Then Hospice came into the picture for the first time and stayed with us 15 months and followed us to the retirement community.


Today it struck me so strongly while being with both of my parents and the companion in my mother's room, how many wonderful people God has put into their lives and mine.  These loving people are from all over the world as well....2 continents and 5 different countries that I know of.  I have not asked everyone that interacts with Dad daily where they are from.  We could add to that country list I'd imagine.  

It is Jamaica, Nigeria, Ghana, The Democratic Republic of Congo, Ethiopia, and the US.....kind people that help my Moma every day.  And this is just in her building!  It's everyone from the maintenance workers who drive Dad to see Mom, to the receptionist at the front desk of Healthcare, who met Dad on her very first day at work, never forgetting how friendly and kind he was to her,  to my mother's nursing supervisor.  It's everyone.....and what is amazing is that 3/4 of these people have been with us for the past two years.


Today I just saw so much compassion all around me.  Mom's lunch companion is with her for an hour.  She sits with Mom during lunch to encourage her to eat, then she goes and gets my dad and brings him over to see her and stays for up to two more hours with both of them.  I saw how she interacted with my mom.  Since I was there, I showed her pictures of our family and asked her about hers.  She is so kind, Azieb, so very kind.  I told her how much I appreciated what she did for my parents.  She said she loved what she did and was so happy to spend time with them.   I then asked her where she was from, I was curious because she has an accent, but I couldn't place the accent.  She told me Africa.  I asked, "What country?"  She said, "Ethiopia."  She has 4 children of her own and a husband.  She came all the way from Africa to be with her husband.

"I told her while we were waiting on the golf cart to arrive, "You came all this way from your country here to this country and you are  blessing my family!  Thank you!"  I meant what I said, but she apparently does not get many compliments because of her reaction in how she responded... a step back, hand on her heart, with a huge smile, "Oh, thank you so much!!"  Sweet Azieb....


So many hands and feet...... all the way from Ethiopia, Africa.


I saw the caring and love of Mom's main nurse, Gillian today too.  When in pain, she squatted down to Mom's level at her bedside and said with a cheery expression to try and make Mom smile, "You tell that pain to get out and leave and not come back!  Here, baby, this will make you feel better."  You could just see the care in Gillian's eyes.  I watched her.  I've seen it for two years.  But today it was even more compassionate....


So many hands and feet.....all the way from Jamaica.


Mrs. Leonard was especially concerned about Mom today. I could understand why.  She's been noticing something is not right with her.   She saw the Hospice team around Mom's bedside with us there and she was asking over and over, "What can I do to help?  Now if there is anything I can do for her please let me know."  She meant it.  The Hospice doctor said, "Be her friend."  Mrs. Leonard cares about my mom.  She is my Mom's friend and at 95 years of age she even tells her, "Keep up the good work!  We're going to stay strong and do the best we can now aren't we Ethel?"  What a cheer leader and nice friend to have as a roommate.  Boy do these two ladies think alike!  My mom is quite the encourager too, when she feels good. 


So many hands, feet and encouraging voices....all the way from Winston Salem, NC.


The list goes on and on and I do plan on sharing about those I didn't mention at a later date.


It just about OVERWHELMS me the number of people that are there for Mom right now and have been.  We truly do have a family at the retirement community.

Managing the Pain of Cancer and Diabetes

Pain....no one knows pain better in our family than my brother, Tom.

After being struck down by a drunk driver on his bicycle in 2009 and having to deal with the tremendous injuries of a broken back and shattered forearm and wrist, he "knows" how bad pain can be.  What an encouragement for our Mom though.  When she is hurting these days, he understands pain, and can empathize with her.  

Pain causes everything in life to become dark.  It changes our mood, attitudes, and many times tires us out.  It can even change our outlook on life.

After meeting with the Hospice doctor yesterday, he says we need to increase the potency of Mom's pain meds.  She is still in discomfort and those legs, feet, and ankles are what are so painful, especially the right one.  It is circulation based which is caused by having diabetes for so very long, it is from the cancer too, he thinks because there may be more cancer than we know about right now.  The doctor said he's seen it so many times in his patients where they initially have Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, have treatments and then have this long time of stabilization (which can last for YEARS), with no signs of cancer, no problems and then all of a sudden it comes back and then everything starts progressing very quickly.  He says he's seen it time and time again specifically with the NHL.  
The doctor also seems to think, with her pain managed better, she'll get some better sleep, will eat more, and of course be happier!  We all agree!  We don't like see her in pain like we have the past few weeks.

So here's a prayer that the new medication, they will try as soon as today, will work!  We all want her to rest, because I truly do think she has not been able to do that well recently at all.  When Mom feels good we all feel good and when she doesn't, we don't either.  That expression, "feeling others pain".....well that describes my brother and I right now.  We want Mom to be the best she can be for as long as possible.