There was no one like my dad. There are a million things I miss about him and it is just easier to say that I miss every single thing about him. No one ever loved me like he did and no one will ever love me in that way again. It is a hard pill to swallow even over a year after his passing. I count it as something intricately special to my life to have had someone love me and show me how to love others as well as he did.
That joking though….. oh my goodness. We used to laugh so! I don't think there has ever been someone in my life who joked and laughed with me like Dad did. This banter back and forth we used to share. He loved to see our reactions to his antics and yes the antics were frequent and made Mom smile and shake her head. "What is your father up to?" or simply a…"JOE!" Mom's reaction to his playfulness made us laugh more. He loved the attention and he loved to hear us laugh most of all.
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| Trying to distract Mom by gently blowing her direction instead of letting her blow out her candles! |
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| Dad why isn't the hose attached??? |
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| He loved playing with Joseph and Philip |
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| So many happy birthday moments! |
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| Mom…. his beautiful bride and love of his life! |
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| Love that hat Dad! |
And MY FAVORITE…. "The Handy man creed- 'If I can't fix it, it ain't broken!" Yes, I found this shirt at Cracker Barrel and thought of him. It was his 76th birthday. Dad, the handy man who loved tools, wood working and any thing home improvement.
The silly things we used to do: putting the sock monkey stuffed animal in the dining room chair for him to find at dinner or under the covers at his pillow at night. Little messages on things. The pretend "stone, hard, stale biscuits" scenario (take your home made biscuit and pretend to tap it on your plate while you are taking your knife under the table and tapping it on the underside of the table to make the sound effect) This was a joke he played on Mom a long time ago. Funny hand made cards with speech balloons attached to printed photos we cut out and put on the card to make him smile. He took everything in stride and never took anything personally. He made sure with his joking that no one else did either. His jokes were clean, sometimes corny, but very entertaining. He often times joked about his "lack of hair" and getting it wet in the rain. He and his dentist exchanged funny birthday cards to each other for years and his dentist told me how much he missed that after Dad passed away. It was something to which he always looked forward.
It was the gifts of making others smile, his actual smile, his ability to help people see they were valued and loved even in the midst of a funny "break the ice" remark which made him unforgettable. I can't think of how many grocery store clerks he would be kind to or joke with on a regular basis. If you were having a bad day and you ran into Dad, he would make your bad day more manageable by helping you to forget your worries if only for a few minutes. Even in the nursing home with Alzheimer's disease at its worst, he would smile, laugh, and joke around with the staff. He was always so grateful for everything they did for him. They loved his fun loving personality and several told me they already missed his jokes the day after he died.
Our personalities do matter to God. He created our spirits to be unique and to shine a part of who He is. The Lord allowed Dad to keep those parts of himself which reflected who he was the most, even when Alzheimer's had stolen so much of his life away. That love. That gratitude for others and what they did for him. That fun loving spirit. Those were things Alzheimer's could never take away in him.
So August 1st was always such a happy day! It was fun to celebrate my dad. It was fun to joke with him about his age, flipping the numbers to make him younger….. "I'm 62, no that would be 26 thanks very much." 44, 55, 66, and 77 were not years this worked and we let him know it. I think in my Dad's heart he was always youthful. He lived his life this way with a vivacity and love of the gift of life God gave him. He saw life as a gift. He saw us as a gift. He saw his faith as a gift. I do know one thing…. he never ever wanted to grow old.
He aged gracefully by always staying active and in physically good shape. When he did grow old, he'd refer to himself as "your old dad"…. but to me he wasn't old in spirit even if Alzheimer's made him physically look 10 years older than he was. He was always my Papa Bear….funny, loving, encouraging, strong, full of life, happy, and spirited.
He was my hero dad.
I miss him so. There is a huge void in my life which can never be replaced. Life just isn't the same without him there on a regular basis. I remember the laughter we used to share and all of those birthdays seeing his face light up and a hearty chuckle from my hand made corny, silly cards….. He loved them. He just loved being with all of us. Mom, Tom, the boys and Mike and I. He loved his friends too; they were a special part of his life.
I can't wait to get in on the joking and laughter in heaven. I know Daddy's spirit is not dead. He lives forever more and is waiting for us to join him so we can experience his joy, laughter, and love of eternal life with the one who created that very spirit in us!
I love you Daddy! Happy Birthday!
Love,
Your little girl
This is a video tribute of Dad I made and set to music.
The photos span his lifetime from childhood to the last photo we had with him as a family in early March 2013. The music I selected reflects his musical tastes. He loved piano music. "Beach Spring" is a famous American folk tune I love. "Someone to Watch Over Me" is exactly what he was to all of us…..he was that father who was always there. "Make Someone Happy" is what he did all of his life and when Alzheimer's came it is what we tried to do for him. We tried to bring joy to him every chance we could. The last song, "Smile" conveys what he did those last years with Alzheimer's disease. "Smile, though your heart is breaking…. smile and the sun will come shining through for you…." It is what he continued to do battling the loss of his memories and life as he once knew it. It is what we all strived to do and did when we were with him though our hearts were breaking watching his decline. It defines his courage and strength.
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