It's All Worth It

Today's efforts were worth every minute of my time, every mile I drove, every second Mom had to keep her feet up, while I pushed her in her wheel chair across the long parking lot from her building to Dad's building, with the boys walking beside her.  It made such a difference in two people's lives.  Things like today keep me going, keep me smiling and keep reminding me that God's fingerprints are all over our lives in every detail, every step we take, every word we share, in the journey of living.  This is our life and we're living it.

Bundled up to walk over to Memory Care.  It was a beautiful day!  Photo by our 11 year old son, Joseph.

It was SO worth it to pursue that joy and nurture love.  Seeing my daddy's face when he saw us today and those big blue eyes, looking at me with more clarity of mind than I have seen in two weeks was worth it.  He wasn't just smiling for me and the boys, he was smiling the biggest for Mom.

This song sung by Jimmy Durante was all about today. "  Make Someone Happy " 
" Someone to love is the answer.... make someone happy, make just one someone happy and you'll be happy too." 



 My dad looks SO much better!  He's up walking with his walker again today.  Yesterday was a good day too.  He's not as confused because he's off the pain medication for his back.  His coloring is better.  I found him sitting in the living room reading his news paper.  He didn't know we were coming today.  What a surprise!

 He has been so worried he wouldn't see Mom again.  He has voiced this to my brother and others.  He has not been able to make his usual visits for two and a half weeks now because of his sudden back pain.  To him that seems like forever.   I didn't know if I should have told Mom what he was fearful of today or not, but I did.  I told her he didn't have a fractured hip, that he was better and getting off the pain medication.  I told her he missed seeing her so much and coming over to visit her.  She asked, "Is he crying about me?"  Oh my, her insight!  The answer was yes, but I couldn't tell her that.  I just didn't have the heart.  That was too sad.  She was about in tears when she asked me.  I just told her he needed to see her and the boys and I had come so she could.

Amazing what you can remember with dementia.  My mom remembered me telling her that Dad was afraid he wouldn't see her again.  So much she forgets right after I tell her and she knows it and tells me all the time.  Emotional things attached to Dad she remembers.  Oh how God intwines our hearts and makes our hearts in tune with our spouses!  I shouldn't be surprised.  It's been this way for decades with them.

She had a little talk with Dad about just this subject.  She told him not be afraid, she was still right there and was not going to leave him. He said it was a "different world" there where he was.  Yes, it is a totally different world without her there all the time.  I actually didn't hear the first part of this conversation.  I went to the bathroom.  My eleven year old son heard it.  ALL of it.  He told me I missed an interesting conversation.  He said Grandmom looked like she was going to cry.  Thank you Lord for letting my son see that love between grandparents.  Thank you....

When I came back,  I sat on the floor near them and I heard her say, "I love you.  I'll love you forever."  And then she said, "And ever." You know how many times I've seen that written on photographs they have sent to each other over the years?  Many.

God showed me again this afternoon to never underestimate the power of his love through us. They sat and held hands for about an hour.  Most of the time Mom was holding his hands because she said they were cold and she wanted to warm them up. Oh the little things she can still do for him that mean so much.  Just that loving touch that only she has and no one else.

Dad felt so comfortable after we got him a long sleeve shirt, that he started falling asleep on Mom.  His forehead falling right on her hand holding his.  She would have stayed there for a long time, as long as he was napping I think.  I left them for a time and came back and found this.

They had both fallen asleep.  It looks like Dad is kissing her hand. Kissing her hand as he naps.  Her hands wrapped around his, keeping one of them warm.   How much more could they minister to each other in the small, yet huge things if they were not separated due to medical issues?  So very much is what I saw today.  She helped him get his long sleeve shirt on, she helped smooth out the wrinkles, she was the calming voice, and the voice of reassurance.  All of those things make a HUGE difference.  He needs his bride.  He's always needed Mom.  He especially needs her in this time of aging and Alzheimers.  It lightens his load knowing God's gifts of  loved ones are still there with him.

Love.... it ministers to us and gives us peace.  Dad was so peaceful with Mom there.  I hated having to take her back to her building. Oh I hated walking to the elevator and leaving him all alone in his chair there with his newspaper.  "Dad, I miss you," I told him.  I do.  "We're going through this together. We're all in this together, ok?  You are going to get stronger so you can go see Mom again just like you used to."  He looked at me and said, "We'll make it work."  So typical of my dad and his "can do" positive attitude. Those exact words I've heard him say all my life.  We'll make it work.... yes we will.  All of us, whatever it takes with God's strength and love to see us through.  
 I needed to hear that from my dad today.  I needed to hear that strength once again that he has not given up the fight with Alzheimers. 

Tomorrow, my brother comes to bring Mom back over.  It is Saturday.  So they will see each other again.  Dad is getting stronger.  With physical therapy and occupational therapy he'll be back to making his visits again.  I know he's going to love that so much.  And one day in my heart I know these two will be together living in the same building.  I feel it with all my heart.  Medical issues must be the reason for this of course, but I just feel like this is the way God is leading our family.  Daddy would love nothing more. 

Make someone happy.... Three people were very happy today.