A Simple "Yes" Changed My Life- My Story for Orphan Sunday 2011

Did you know that God can take something that starts with loss and pain and turn it into something beautiful?   

I can’t say this is just my story.  It’s not.  This is Joe and Ethel’s story, my adopted brother Tom’s story and mine as well. 

My adopted parents journey began in 1958 with the conception of their first child.  My mom at age 28 lost her first baby during the 2^nd trimester of her pregnancy. 

Devastating…. 

However, she and Dad kept their dream of having a family alive.  In 1961 they conceived again only to lose this baby too, once again in the 2^nd trimester of Mom’s pregnancy.   

How do you overcome that kind of grief?  I cannot imagine. 

Amazing grief, amazing love, amazing faithfulness of God. 

  Mom and Dad weathered the storm of miscarriage, having doctors tell my mom that if she wanted to live, she needed to stop trying to have babies.  Diabetes and pregnancy were dangerous to her life.  Their dream did not die with those words, They could have given up and been resigned that they would never have children, never raise children, and just be a couple for the rest of their years.  However, that was not Joe and Ethel’s hearts.  My parents love children.  God continued the dream with the thoughts of adopting a child of their own.  It took them over a year locally to find my brother, Tom and adopt him as a 5 week old infant in August of 1964.  They finally had been blessed with a family and a child with whom they could share their love. 

Tom a few days after he came home.

Dad is 32 years old.  Tom is 5 weeks.

My story begins in June of 1966.  That is when they started looking to adopt a daughter.  In June of ’66 I was close to 5 months old in my biological mother’s womb.  Yes, in the 2^nd  trimester of her pregnancy.  Approximately the same age as the babies my mom lost.  Ironic…. God’s timing is perfect.  Children and Family Services found me and told my parents they had found an infant girl were they interested?  The answer was “Yes.”  

 

"  I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart;  I will tell of all Your wonders. I will be glad and exult in You;  I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High."

Psalm 9:1-2

January 11, 1967 is my adoption day.  I was 7 weeks old.  This day I gained a mother, father and older brother.  Little did I know what a tremendous gift this would be at the time, but God knew, yes, God knew.  I do not know where I was those first 7 weeks of my life.  I don’t know where I spent my first Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years.  I just know someone with a big heart took care of me through foster care.

FAMILY.... How can you put into words what a loving family means? 

Are there words?  Yes, there are, but too often for me they are wrapped around a sea of emotion, gratefulness, love, and wonder.   

Family… Families are not perfect.  But God is.  We may not have chosen our family, but they are still ours.  I lost a family the minute I was supposed to have one.  But no matter how a family may start out, God has a perfect plan.

I am grateful to be here.

I am grateful for life.

I am grateful that no matter the circumstances of my conception and birth, that my biological mother took care of herself and I, during a 9 month pregnancy and decided to give me life.  Her choice to not keep me has never greatly bothered me.  It has only brought curiosity and wonder.  Her choice to give me a chance at a “different life” has always been something for which I am so blessed.   

She did two beautiful things...   

She chose life over death in giving birth to me and because of that decision it has allowed me to pursue the path of becoming the woman God wants me to be.

You see I believe with all my heart that God can use any circumstance for His glory.  I have believed all my life that my adopted parents were supposed to be my parents.  As years have passed and I've become an adult I have realized more profoundly the sovereignty of God's plans.   That he had already picked out my forever family and knew what would happen one day.  The plan was there in place.  I just didn’t realize those plans yet as a child.

Sometimes I wonder how could a God so grand, wonderful, and majestic love a little infant like me?   

That the creator of the entire universe would care about what happened to me, the newborn orphan?

But He did.... He did.   

He gave me this tremendous gift of this couple.  They are "My" Mom and Dad.  No one can ever take this gift away from me.  And I am "their" daughter and no one can take that away from them.  God gave us His best in creating this family.

No matter how you look at it,   I could not control my circumstances.  I could not decide what family would become mine.  Prayers were lifted up on my behalf through the process and God answered the prayers.  My mom has told me this many times over the course of my life.

I sometimes wonder if my biological mother prayed for me, my well being and my health.  Did she pray I would be provided a loving home and parents who would nurture me and love me?  Did she pray for my heart?  Did she pray that I would know the Lord one day?   I don't know if she did any of these things and I may never know.  And you know what?  I'm ok with that.   I have a peace.  Deep down of course,  I hope she prayed for all of those things concerning me her unborn daughter,  because THAT means God answered ALL of her prayers too,  just like he answered others.  What matters is that the Lord created our family, bringing us all together for His glory.

 
Mom and Dad made the choice to say, “Yes! We want this little girl as part of our family.” Just as they had said, "Yes!" to my brother more than a year earlier.

Life is all about choices.   

Look at what happens when we choose certain things.  Many times we don't know what will happen when we make a certain choice.  We have to step out on faith.   Because my adopted parents stepped out on faith my life totally changed for the better. 

What is so amazing to me is that now everything has come full circle after all of these years.  I see so clearly why this match of parent and child is so perfectly made.  God knew my parent’s hearts, but he also knew where my heart would be 44 years later.   Initially I needed a family.  I needed loving parents and a home.  I needed someone to care about me.  And now my parents need someone to take care of them.  God knew when I was an infant how deep this love for my folks would run.  He knew my mom would have Type 1 diabetes for over 60 years, have cancer 3 different times and survive. 

He knew my Daddy would eventually be in the battle of his life, fighting a degenerative brain disease and begin to lose his memory.  For the past year I have watched parts of the dad I know and have loved my whole life become stolen into the abyss of the dementia world.  God has allowed much of him to remain, but watching and walking him through this battle is tough.  I’m so glad it’s me and my brother who are walking him through.  God knows our hearts!

If I had a testimony of faith to give of my life it would be of adoption. 

That God does care about each and every human being.    

John 3:16  "For God so loved the world that He gave his only Son, that who so ever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life."

That we are all created in His image.    

Genesis 1:27  "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him: male and female He created them."

We are fearfully and wonderfully made.   

Psalm 139:14  "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  Wonderful are your works, And my soul knows it full well."

He knew us in our mother’s wombs.    

Psalm 139:13  "For You formed my inward parts:  You wove me in my mother's womb."

He has a plan for us.   

Jeremiah 29:11  "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.'

He guides us in that plan and gives us His clarity and wisdom when we humbly ask for it, but He does not make our choices for us.  Ultimately that is up to us.  When we follow His lead and make the choices that honor Him, life is astoundingly different than when we choose our own way. 

Sometimes I wonder if God wanted me to always remember I’m adopted for specific reasons.  Why does He place this burden of sharing it, of telling of His goodness on my heart?  Why does He want me to remember what it feels like to be chosen?  He first chose me before I chose Him, and I believe more fully than ever that being adopted by an earthly family who loves me helps me to understand more fully how this truly feels.

I am constantly reminded that life is a gift.    

It is forever carved in my heart.  I just can't see it any other way.  When I think of what "might have been", how can I not look at life as anything but as a gift? 

I realize it more with each passing year.  I lift my hands to heaven and say, “Thank you Lord!  Thank you Lord for giving me LIFE!  For giving me a chance to really live here on earth with a family that loves me! 

Then though she cannot hear me, I look to heaven again and say to the birth mother I have never met,  “Thank you!!  Thank you for giving me life!  Thank you for giving me a chance to be who I was meant to be.  You did a beautiful, wonderful thing in choosing something different for me.  I am blessed.    Thank you!!” 

I cannot imagine how my life might have been so very different if different choices were made on my behalf.   I also cannot imagine better parents than the ones God gave me.  The gift of family is one of God’s greatest gifts to me.   I never take it for granted.  God won’t let me.  He reminds me so often that He is sovereign and He is God and I am not.  

Traits may be passed down by genes and blood, but I think a lot is passed down through the circumstances you are surrounded with as well.    

Through it all God guides us through the life we have been given and has a plan.

And our choices in God’s eyes do matter, they do.  All I have to do is look at my own life and His hand prints are all over it as are the fingerprints of my two loving parents.

If you are a parent of an adopted child, you may never know the full impact you have made on your child or will make on your child for the better.   Believe me when I tell you it is there and will not be forgotten by the child you have adopted.  To those in the process of adopting, keep your trust in God at the forefront of all you do.  He is faithful to complete what He has started.  And to those thinking about adopting a child I say, “Pray, ask for God’s wisdom and guidance and know full well if you have fears, worries or uncertainties about it, that God will give you clarity and take care of all of those things.”   

A simple “yes” changed my life. 

A Perfect Fit

Sometimes the Lord has a way of working things out in my life to fit perfectly the way He knows they need to be.  Different aspects of my life are like puzzle pieces fitting together, which are carefully crafted by our heavenly Father with His best in mind for my life.  It is as if He sees my life as the picture on the puzzle box and knows what the finished product will look like.  He is the potter, I'm the clay.  He is not through with me yet.  I'm so grateful for His best.  I pray that I will always recognize and appreciate His best, so that I may make choices that reflect this in my life.

My Mom choosing me as her daughter was God's best for me.  Oh I'm so grateful she made that choice!

I'd say that as Mother's Day approaches, that the gift of my mother is such an incredible gift that it is hard to put into words.

As mother and daughter, I'd say we are a perfect fit.  

From the beginning of our lives together, we look like we were always meant to be.  This photo was probably taken my first days at home with my forever family.  I am two months old.  I had just met my mom days earlier.  I have a feeling I felt her love from day one.  After knowing her for over 4 decades and knowing her loving spirit, gentleness, kindness, and caring nature, I know she loved on me like I had never been loved before.

Everyone says how much we look alike. I always smile. I love when people say that.  No one can believe that I'm adopted at first.

I'm so glad God knows us so well.

A perfect fit..... yes, a mother daughter perfect fit.

I love you Moma.

A Most Excellent Day

A surprise Mother's Day celebration for Mom today.  It was a most excellent day!  The boys made cards for her that we could hang on the wall.  We were able to go downstairs and watch her PT session. The boys were even able to participate with her.  We love her physical therapist, Fallon.  Afterward we took Mom over to see Dad.  Boy was he surprised!  He was laying down to take a nap.  As soon as he saw me wheel Mom in the room he sat up very quickly and was so surprised and happy to see her!  It was like he had not seen her in a week.  I love that he reacts to her that way when he sees her!  She doesn't go over to his building very often, so it was a nice surprise.

All in all it was a beautiful day.  We hung up our Mother's Day cards on her wall.  Something new for her to look at.... and we just had a really good visit.

More smiles....
More hugs....
More love....

A most excellent hug from Joseph.

 

I just love being able to tell her one more time for Mother's Day... 

"Thanks Mom for choosing me as your daughter so many years ago. You are one of my most cherished gifts from God." 

And yes, PJ still fits on her lap.... but barely.  I'm going to hate the day when she asks him to climb up and he's too heavy!  As long as she can hold him there, she will.  And as long as he can climb up there, he will.

Thank you Lord for these memories....

Helping Easter come Alive for Our Children

This Easter season.....

....we have followed Jesus' journey.   Here are some elements we used to do that and to help us reflect on the passion and the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ as a family.  My goal for our family has always been to make Easter come alive as much as possible for our two boys.  At ages 10 and 6 we continue to share the message of the Gospel with them, and for the first time this year our youngest is starting to really internalize some things. 

Palm Sunday we started with our Resurrection eggs.

Each egg is filled with a different element of the Easter account.  We read a devotional and the Bible account of each part of the Easter story pertaining to that particular element.  

Our 10 year old has memorized the eggs and he knows the first egg is the donkey on which Jesus rode into Jerusalem.  He and his brother take turns opening eggs and I've noticed this year that our oldest is wanting more and more to help his younger brother understand the Easter story.

As we take each element out, we then place them in a special place where they can be observed.  

The elements are:

The Donkey    Matthew 21:1-9

The Silver Coins of betrayal    Matthew 26:14-16, 46-50, 27:1-5

The Passover Cup    Matthew 26:17-19, 26-28,  Exodus 12:23

The Praying Hands   Mark 14:32-42

The Leather Whip   John 19:1-15

The Crown of Thorns   Matthew 27:29-31

The Nails in the Cross    John 19:16-22

The Dice used for gambling for Jesus garments    John 19:23-25

The Spear that pierced Jesus' side    John 19:31-37

The Linen used to wrap Jesus' body    Matthew 27:57-61

A Stone for sealing the Tomb   Matthew 28:1-3

An empty egg/tomb  Jesus is not here.  He has risen!!   Matthew 28:5-8

This year when we got to the Passover cup, we had just celebrated communion at our church.  Thank you Lord for this timing!  That night we were able to read the Scriptures about the Last Supper to the boys and dramatize and share with them through physical  symbols (pita bread and grape juice) what happened on that first communion night. We're hoping this will help in their understanding of what the Last Supper is, its special meaning  and why we partake of it in church.

As the week progressed we talked about the different elements of our resurrection eggs.  

We thought about Jesus and what he went through, though we will never ever fully comprehend the intensity, nor the suffering he endured for our salvation.  At least we're hoping to give the boys a glimpse of that suffering in leading them to God's Word.  And we want them to be filled with the joy of the Lord in knowing that Christ has made a place for them in heaven. We want them to have the hope we have in Christ.  And we desire for them to be able to share their faith with anyone. 

There is a movie we enjoy watching each Easter Season as well.  It is the "Gospel of John".  A word for word account of John's Gospel from the Good News Bible translation.  We also watched the movie  "The Greatest Story Ever Told".  

There are other elements I personally add which are entirely sentimental to remember family members who have passed on into Jesus' presence.  My Grandmother is always a part of my Easter, even though she passed away 17 years ago.

She made Easter crafts that I still have and I love to put out her eggs, and crocheted bunnies.  She was a great woman of faith and I like to instill in the boys that because of what Jesus did for us, we will see our loved ones again.  God made a way through his Son Jesus Christ, where there was no other way.  They may never have met their great grandmother, but they will one day. 

Actual eggs, decorated inside and out with paper cut outs. 

 Here are her crocheted bunnies.

 Something new we did this year (an idea I want to tweak) is memorizing Scripture verses from the Easter account or learning more of the names of Jesus.  This year I put the Scripture cards in a big glass bowl with colorful eggs.   I did not plan well enough this year to do this ahead of time.  Now I have a plenty of time to start this for next year.   The Scriptures we used this year came from Children's church.   Each month the boys memorize a Scripture that goes along with a character trait they are studying during Sunday School.  We used these Scripture cards which they have already memorized.

Another element, which is now a Crovi tradition, is planting flowers, and sharing flowers from our yard that bloom this time of year, and reflecting on new life.  Christ gives us new life when we believe in him.  Mike bought me a blue hydrangea this year for Easter.

Our youngest picked out a Petunia this year.

Dutch Iris

Our oldest picked out Poppies for this year.

 This year we cut Iris for Grandmom.  A sweet memory for her because she knew exactly where these flowers came from..... her yard at one time many years ago, now transplanted into my yard.   And we also shared Iris with our next door neighbor who loves flowers as much as I do.  

Every Easter is different and each year the Lord teaches me something else, takes me to a deeper level of awareness if I carve out that time to reflect on Him and spend time with Him.  This year the big gift to me was a tenebrae service.  It was the first time I ever remember actually going to one.  I went to one held at my childhood church this year.  It was beautiful and very powerful.  I want all of us to experience that during Holy Week next year and in the years to come.  It's hard to just think on the resurrection of Jesus, if you do not first quiet your heart and ponder his passion and suffering on the cross.

Easter is the best day of the year.  With no Easter there is no resurrection of life and hope of eternal life.

I have told the boys that every day we should act like we have the hope of Easter.  We have that joy in Christ.  He has given us the abundant life!

 And Easter would not be Easter without celebrating the joy you share with family!
Buona Pasqua is "Happy Easter" in Italian.  We were greeted by Mike's mom on Easter Sunday with a hug, huge smile and "Buona Pasqua!"

The song "In Christ Alone" pretty much sums up Easter for me.   "For I am His and He is mine..... bought with the precious blood of Christ."  

Listen to "In Christ Alone" HERE

No Other Love

No other love have I seen quite like this one....

My parents share a love that has stood the test of time.

A love where each has truly cherished the other.

A love that has endured through great happiness, much joy, through loss, and hardship.  

They have never given up on the other.  They have sacrificed and served each other through their faith.  I've never seen a devotion like the devotion they have for each other.

Oh to have witnessed this and such examples for my life.  It is an incredible gift from God.

And 58 years later, that devotion is still there, though dynamics due to medical issues for each have changed their life together in many ways. 

Through the battling of significant, current medical issues, they continue to smile with one another, bring love and happiness to each other in a way only they can for each other.   Neither one is complete without the other.  It's just always been that way.

My Dad still calls Mom, "his bride".  

Photo by my brother, Tom Poston

Photo by my brother, Tom Poston

 She always will be.

And he will always be her one and only love.

A favorite song of theirs was always "No Other Love" from the 1953 musical "Me and Juliet" by Rogers and Hammerstein.  My Dad was in the Navy and I can only imagine how Mom and he must have felt to be separated from each other at that time.  Dad's parents gave Mom her engagement ring on behalf of my dad.  She of course said "yes".  And eventually got on a plane and flew thousands of miles to Hawaii to marry him.  (Her first time on a plane too!)

Listen to NO OTHER LOVE here

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

You are such a gift to me.

Inscriptions from the Heart

Over the years I have been blessed by others in my family and my close friends to have received books with personal inscriptions in them.  I always think a personal note makes a gift more special.  A note from the heart to me says so much.

It says, "I'm thinking of you.  This is why I'm giving you this gift."  And it is a reminder later on of who gave you the gift, so you can look back and smile.  At least this is what I do.

There was a Bible I remember at my Great Aunt's apartment outside Washington, DC.  It was a copy of the Living Bible.  I was always drawn to that Bible for some reason as a child.  I think it was because I could actually understand the words better than my little King James Bible.

 I remember picking it up, looking at it and reading parts of it each summer while visiting my aunt for those two weeks.  We saw her every summer during my childhood.  When it was time to go home the Bible stayed there 8 hours away from home.  It never occurred to me to ask my folks if I could have a Bible in this translation.

My Aunt noticed I always liked this Bible and one day when I was 9, she handed it to me and asked me if I'd like to have it.  I of course said, "Yes and thank you!"  She told me to look inside and read the note she wrote to me.

 From that point on, this was the Bible I read.  It was the Bible I could understand, and King James got left on the shelf.  What my Aunt did not realize is that she passed her faith on to me in a very special way, all because of a simple gift of a Bible.  Everything she had in her heart for me that day when I was 9 years old, and she wrote down in the covers of that Bible, came true. God's Word is all of those things to me and more.

One of my favorite passages from John 14.

"Let not your heart be troubled.  You are trusting in God, now trust in me.  There are many homes up there where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming.  When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with me where I am.  If this weren't so, I would tell you plainly.  'And you know where I am going and how to get there."  John 14:1-4   " I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life."  John 14:6

So many times these words have inspired me, given me hope and strengthened my faith.

What is so interesting about this Bible is that it is actually connected to another Bible also belonging to my Aunt.  It was her Scofield Bible, given to her by her husband John.

There was another inscription I found in this Bible.  But I did not find it until I was an adult.  This Bible in particular sat on a bookshelf at my folks house for years after my Aunt passed away in 1984.
I found it one day and opened it and these are the words tucked inside from 1952.

The same words her husband had shared with her when he gave her this Scofield Bible, she had wanted to share with me.

My uncle was an Army Chaplain during WWII and he was a man of unwaivering and tremendous faith, having survived the Bataan Death March and being a POW in a Japanese concentration camp for over 2 years.  His faith was amazing and I will devote a post to his story one day.


Within the pages of my Aunt's Bible I also found this card with the famous painting of Jesus on it.  It was what was on the flip side of the card that was truly very interesting.  A little surprise perhaps from God, who knows....

The card was actually a calendar.  A calendar from the Department of Chaplains and Service Personnel.  My Aunt was an Army nurse with the rank of Major.  The calendar was from the year of my birth..... 1966. No telling how long it had been in there.  Maybe since 1966! 

What I learned from that calendar too was what day I was born on.  I did not know this fact before because I was adopted.  I was born on a Sunday.  It was kind of nice to know that....

It's amazing how God works to accomplish His will.  Faith from those before us can be passed down.  It is what I hope to do with my kids now and grand kids one day.
We will make an impact on those we love for good or for bad.  I want mine to count for the kingdom.

A simple Bible given to me made quite an impact.  And to have a Great Aunt and Great Uncle who had such a tremendous faith was even more of a gift.  I do not remember my uncle because  I was 6 when he died and they lived far from us.  But I know his story and it is worth telling.  My Aunt was like a 3rd grandmother to my brother and I.  She and John did not have any children, so my dad was like her son and my mother like her daughter.  I remember her so fondly with much love.

Cardinals of Late March

When you look out the window, sometimes you are greeted with neat surprises.  Just a little something special to add to your day.

My dad has a beautiful view out of his window at the retirement community.  It is completely peaceful.

Many tall trees, a stream bed and a lake off in the distance.  

View in October

I know why he loves sitting by the window at times.  It is so serene.

Our ten year old son was looking out Granddad's window this week. 

The first thing he noticed was the water rushing over the rocks from all the rain we'd had.  It's not usually running through the rocks like it was.

 

His first words were, "Mommy!  Look at the water rushing over the rocks!"  

But then he saw something else....

A bright little red surprise sitting on the tree branch below us.

We love Cardinals.  They are actually my favorite bird.

He was just sitting there enjoying himself.  I enjoyed that he was sitting there.  

Then I heard another announcement....

"Mommy there are two of them!  There is Mrs. Cardinal too."  She was camouflaged nicely on a different branch.  It was hard to pick her out from the leaves.

The only way I could really see her was her orange-red beak.  

She was lovely.  

Little surprises are everywhere just out side our windows.  

I love how God surprises me each day. 

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;  His mercies never come to an end;  They are new every morning;  great is your faithfulness. "  Lamentations 3:22-23

Every day is new.  

Every day is different from the day before.  

Every day is a gift.  

We receive reminders of the gift of life in many different ways.  Yes, even in the form of "tuffy" feathers.  That is the way my 10 year old likes to describe it.  

"Tuffy" is good.... yes very good.